Can I butt in for a moment and actively ask what makes a male character more relatable?
I'm currently in the process of writing my first novel and that was something I never gave a thought about.
this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
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Avoid toxic masculinity lol
Help me on that. What it entails evades me.
I understand it as being obnoxious, rude and overbearing.
Goes further than that, imo. Toxic masculinity can also be subtle. It doesn't need to be a chest-beating guy. Besides trying to hold a death-grip on your emotions, sinking yourself into whatever society holds to be manly, I can't really think of an example rn, I've just woken up.
If that is so, I wish you a very pleasant day!
If a male gets grossed out by the idea of wearing pink, that's toxic masculinity. It's ok to have preferences, like I don't like the color pink" but to be actively repulsed by it shows you have a fear of being emasculated. You have a fear that you might be seen as "not a manly man"
Other examples include being repulsed by rainbows, being afraid of showing your feelings/crying, being afraid of gay people, etc.
Good thing to have are: being willing to have a discussion without trying to "win", get angry or disregard the other person's opinion. Having women friends that you aren't trying to fuck. Having hobbies that are fun, and that you're willing to talk about because they make you excited, without trying to monetize them.
Not OP, but probably realistic is a better word for it. OP mentioned nerdy, so maybe physically weak, shorter than average, etc. Basically the opposite of 6’+ gym rat with year round 6-pack.
I'd prefer if the protagonist did have other typically nerdy traits (a poor social life, an interest in technology, movies, literature etc.) but I wouldn't exactly mind a more realistic protagonist since I don't have many choices.
Thank you for that insight
I understand. Thank you.
You’re wanting, like, “Michael Cera from Juno” levels of nerdy?
I'm not exactly spoiled for choice so yeah
That is one good story.
Kind of an odd suggestion, and I know this might not work if you’re someone who wants to place themselves in the story, but if you’re looking for healthier, better adjusted men in literature, try some queer or gay romance. Not sure exactly your desired age/reading level, but Red, White, and Royal Blue is cute, and while socio economic status makes the main character slightly less relatable, it’s still a nice read. There’s plenty of other excellent queer romance that has well written men. If you also enjoy fantasy and political intrigue, Priory of the Orange Tree has excellent world building and a few romance subplots I think are very sweet.
EDIT: Somehow missed the “nerdier” part. Let me do some library diving and give more accurate suggestions
Beach Read by Emily Henry. Both protagonists are authors.
Thanks for the recommendation but I was looking for a book where the pov character is male.
I don't know where in the world you are so there may not be a similar service for you, but the Brooklyn public library has Book Match. You tell them what you're looking for, and a librarian makes you a list of reading suggestions. I used it once and it was very good.
I haven't read a lot of romance novels honestly but I read 11/22/63 last year by Stephen King. At its core its a historical fiction (very long read, I did audiobook) but there's a love story interwoven and I found it very romanic. The main protagonist Jake seems very average to me and his views on life and the world were very relatable. Just an English teacher trying to make a difference in the world.
11/22/63 was actually my first King novel but it's exactly the kind of book Im looking for.
Do you want it to only have a male pov? I can think of many books where it has both but just the one makes it much harder.
I wouldn't mind books with both protagonists if that's the only option.
I can't say such a book doesn't exist, but it might take some searching. Anyway, I recommend Cathy Yardley, who writes mainly nerdy characters. Role Playing is a good book with older gamer characters. I'm also really fond of Attachments by Rainbow Rowell.
I don't remember if it's specifically nerdy but Small Change by Roan Parrish rates very low on toxic masculinity.
Any subgenres you particulary like or anything else to narrow it down?
I don't know about nerdy enough but I found "The song of Achilles" by Madeline Miller so romantic! We all know the story of Achilles of course, but I found this book very refreshing because the one speaking is Patroclus. Beautiful ending.