this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
691 points (98.6% liked)

Greentext

4375 readers
1414 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 151 points 6 months ago (9 children)

Kinda makes a bit more sense when you consider that the school is in Sultan, Washington and it's address is on Turk Drive.

But also: Washington state.... redneck?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 months ago (3 children)

As an European, I can confirm that all Americans (south and north) are Yankee rednecks

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago (1 children)

As a Texan, I can't read goddamn thing between my wild diabetes eyes and rampant illiteracy

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

How can you afford wild diabetes in 2024? Even pasture raised costs an arm and a leg.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 months ago

As someone from the east side of the state, it definitely fits. Friends joke that I live in West Idaho.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

Outside of Seattle/Tacoma, very redneck. Get up to the mountains where they make all the meth and the cattle farms are pretty redneck too, but they have stripper coffee shacks nearby.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Stripper coffee is where ladies strip? And there's hot beverages?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (5 children)

Pretty much hit the nail on the head right there. That's exactly what they are.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Does it though? Like saying the Germantown school mascot should be the Krauts.

Other Options:

Viziers

Janissaries

Genies

Bombards

Footstools

Istan-Bulls

Harem Girls

Mhmm

Wait, what were we talking about again?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I was about to comment how cool the name Bombards would be, but then I read the Istan-Bulls and sorry but you should be legally obligated to go with that name when it's an option, it's that good.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Better than their previous name: the Constanti-No-Bulls

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why they changed it I can't say

People just liked it better that way

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Thats nobodies business but the Turks

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

And their fans are bull-stans then?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Janissaries

When you want to make it even worse...

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (7 children)

People always expect Oregon and Washington to be super liberal but once you leave the city it's a bunch of hicks in the woods (respectfully)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I don't even expect Portland to be super liberal. That city has a long history with the KKK.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (3 children)

They tried to make Oregon a whites only state a long while back. Not even wanting slaves, during 1857 when they applied for Statehood they both banned slavery and any free black people from existing in the state. It was more of a "We don't even want to see them" kind of hatred.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

I believe it. Even here in California small mountain towns tend to lean heavily conservative

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yes, if you're more than an hour from Seattle/ half an hour from Spokane you're probably in redneck territory

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 70 points 6 months ago (3 children)

the fucking turks

If that's the face he makes while he's fucking then I think he's doing it wrong

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's the face he makes when doing yo momma!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

nice, real’ classy

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Maybe he's the one getting fucked...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Cuz, for some reason, he folds it in half before inserting it

[–] [email protected] 41 points 6 months ago (2 children)

That’s nobody’s business but the Turks!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I don't think many actual Turkish people would be offended by this.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (3 children)

as a Turk, this is fucking awesome

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So this dude knows why Constantinople got the works?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Even though it's been a long time gone?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Yes, but he won't tell you because it's none of your business.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

We had a boring enough mascot, but my highschool had separate black and white homecoming kings & queens... In 1998.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that was illegal at the time...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

They're usually done as private parties with invites required and off campus. That way you can't sue the school.

https://observer.com/2019/05/prom-integration-dance-segregation-still-happens/

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (4 children)

My small town's mascot was the Tigers. The next town to the north? Tigers. The town west of us? Their school shut down in 1997, but they were Tigers, too. The town south? Panthers. There is a town in the next county north that also is the Panthers.

Lots of big cats. No Cougars/Pumas/Mountain Lions, despite the fact that they're totally a native species. There was one town whose mascot was the Bobcats.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Imagine if Turkish people really existed. Wouldn’t that be wild?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

Rival high school: the Greeks

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Are they young? Do they dress in suits and chase Cloud Strife?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Were you allowed to rock the Casbah?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Would be amazing if Their mascot was Hasanabi

load more comments
view more: next ›