this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 year ago

"You're a Englishman Harry"

Missed opportunity for punchline.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The reason in books: muggles will oppress or kill them, falls flat in the face of their overwhelming power. And the fact that they've never had much is an issue.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I don't remember if it was a main book or one of those charity publications but she specifically decided to mention that witch burnings, when they caught a real witch, just resulted in the witch casting a spell that made fire tickle a bit.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I also remember this from the books, some even enjoyed it to the point of getting caught on purpose

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 year ago

Wendelin the Weird was into freaky shit.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just because someone is unsuccessful in killing you doesn't mean it's okay that they continue to try though.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Those fuckers can duplicate food and never go hungry, but never share. They deserve to be burned.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

can duplicate food and never go hungry

Technically, duplicating food is not that feasible. That was a plot point covered in the seventh book.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I didn't really think they actually covered that plot point well.

The biggest problem iirc is a duplicated loaf of bread has the same expiration date as the original, so you can't actually make bread last forever with duplication without it getting moldy. Preservation charms wear off the same as muggle preservatives do.

But I don't see why dried or smoked food couldn't be duplicated for months or years. The biggest threat would be scurvy at that point.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Even with those limitations, duplication would still allow food producers to make less food go a longer way. Smaller farms could feed more people, reducing pollution. You could duplicate the food at the point of sale, which would drastically reduce transportation costs as well as traffic. Hell, cities could have small farms and fed themselves. It would also drastically reduce water consumption that is used in farming, reducing droughts. Producing and transporting food is a massive contributor to global warming. Farms and ranches take up tons of space, all that land could be returned to its natural state (I bet wizards could speed that up).

If wizards showed up with the cure to cancer and fed the hungry they'd easily have 1/5 of the world's population on their side. Unfortunately the wizarding society is extremely exploitative of animals, even worse than the average muggle.

I get that wizards were persecuted and don't want to have muggles expect them to solve all their problems, but they could literally save the planet.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 year ago

Absolutely! Wizards can also cast longer-term enchantments in addition to duplicating food, so they could also provide self-stirring cooking pots and self-fueled stoves and self-cooling ice chests. That doesn't even get in to Arthur Weasley tinkering like the flying Ford.

Wizards deserved it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Does it, tho? Wizards are powerful, sure, but they're severely outnumbered, and almost completely ignorant of technology. What's your Avada Kedavra, that moves slow enough that untrained school children can dodge it, gonna do against the Mother of all Bombs? Or a nuke?

Don't underestimate muggles.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The issue is that wizards can instantly wage a guerilla war. All it takes is Muggle Studies being taken seriously and integration in muggle society. Then it's impossible to identify them. Wandless magic could be a focus to be certain you're never carrying an identifying marker.

Then the wizards don't need to attack. They can destabilize the economy by duplicating money, precious resources, etc. These will deteriorate eventually but cause chaos and devalue the economy for a time. Imagine taking a $100 bill and just duplicating it to prop up your car-wash business as a front. But that's baby-level chicanery.

The real sauce is the mind-control. Imperio (who cares if it's unforgivable when you're at war?) and more importantly the Memory Charm and False Memory spells. Let's just get in there, stun a very important person (start low, work up) and insert the memories you need to get them to act accordingly. Remove the memories of that transaction and boom! Access to the most powerful people in the world and the ability to influence them. Now a wizard has their finger (remotely) on the nuclear button!

Seriously. Voldemort was an idiot. He used basic terror tactics for years and the only reason he wasn't killed quickly was because Magical Britian was written to be as stupid as possible because Rowling was writing a children's story about incompetent leaders.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

This is now my favourite comment on Lemmy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Voldemort casts Fiend fire Its not effective.

Harry Truman casts Nuke 2x Its super effective!

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Also what's the ethical structure behind literally enslaving a species of creatures and forcing them to cook our meals and keep our homes?"

"Well Harry you see, they're lesser than us and also they like it that way"

"........"

(Harry Potter? Not a great book series, from a not-great philosophical mind.)

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Never seen these before, thanks for sharing the link!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Don't they have russians and the french as well?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Have you seen Russian and French cultures lately?

Or historically?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

The roided out quidditch team was from Bulgaria

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think there was mention of a Japanese school as well.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And one for the rest of asia ~~Im not kidding~~

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is Koldovstoretz in Europe or Asia? In any case, it seems a bit strange that Europe gets three schools, but only one each for North America, South America, and Africa. Also no mention of schools in India or China, which both have a sizable population and a presumably proportional number of wizards...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Maybe they don't get along, or they use magic in entirely different and incompatible ways.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yes, every country has wizards in the books. So while the comic is funny, it doesn't actually make sense.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

this but god instead of dumbledore

[–] ICastFist 15 points 1 year ago

"If everyone knows magic, then it's not special anymore, Harry! Don't YOU want to be special?"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This rewriting of Harry Potter : HPMOR asks and solves these questions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Hilarious. Wasn't expecting that.

[–] ICastFist 2 points 1 year ago

Blimey! Dumbledore certainly didn't expect such a Spanish Inquisition!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I use br*tish as a slur