this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 121 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

The ocean: state of impending catastrophe

Humans: can we make another kind of cheese from them?

[–] Isoprenoid 99 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I wonder if there's a hidden whale/dolphin society debating whether or not to invade humans right this very moment

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago

If whales are smart enough to debate that, they probably have cultural memory of almost getting whaled to extinction. Which would make them like us less, but on the other hand, might make them afraid to get us too upset at them

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Perhaps it'll make your day better to know that Pacific nations have passed legislation recognising legal personhood for whales and dolphins, granting them rights against being hunted?

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Although I will admit that’s an interesting little fact, I would have been perfectly fine not knowing it.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Unsubscribe from whale titty facts?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well let's not go crazy here.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Whaaaale, let's not go crazy here.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

No need to thank me. You're whale cum.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 7 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 months ago (2 children)

So many questions. How does one go about milking a whale? How do you make cheese from milk with a thickness similar to No. 4 Fuel Oil? Who was the first person to attempt to milk a whale? Who is buying up all these whale dairy products? Is there such a thing as a whale milk cheesecake?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (2 children)

So I elected not to look into it, because I doubt that zoos are selling it. Which means it’s likely sourced from whalers

Japan, Iceland, Norway, are all actively fishing commercially (though Japan uses the cover of “scientific” expeditions to justify it.)

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

According to their process page the whales are guided into a harness and then milked. Whether or not we should believe it, I cannot say.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't believe it. The profile photos of their 'team' look AI generated.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Nothing is found when searching for their names. There's not a thing out there about "Chief Scientist" Mark Linneaus, although he claims to have had an academic career. If he in fact "dedicated more than 20 years to investigating how diet and environment shape mammalian milk production", it is surprising that his name is nowhere to be found on Google Scholar.

Not to get started on the pictures of their alleged cheeses. There's red flags all over the website. At least they don't accept orders, so it looks more like a joke than a scam.

It's a shame though, I would love to try sustainably produced whale cheese.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Well the reviews are from the Oculus marketing lead, a, Simian Field Reseacher (sic) and an independent shoe salesman. Two of them even have the same picture. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this isn't real.

Plus they're touting it as the new sustainable future of dairy. That alone is an insane thing to claim. There are fewer than thirty thousand gray whales in the world. They produce eighty gallons of milk a day. That's about twelve cows worth if you ignore that most of it is going to be drunk by the whale's calf.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Yup.

I’m thinking it either flopped or was never a thing.

I doubt it’s something that could be reliably commercialized.

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[–] AdmiralShat 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

But why is this any more disgusting than cow milk cheese or goat milk cheese?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (7 children)

Well.

I hate to break it to you… but the whales probably aren’t milked more than once.

My guess is it’s sold by whalers.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

They talk about their process. It involves a whale harness, and divers to do the milking of wild whales.

I'm honestly still wondering if this is an elaborate joke 😆

Edit: from their FAQ:

Is this a joke? No, this isn't a joke, and we're here to stay.

Further down the page:

Treating whales ethically and with respect is our #1 priority. All whales participate on a strictly voluntary basis

I'm still not convinced it's real...

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

aaand they're sold out

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 7 months ago (10 children)

100% that someone has tasted/drunk/chewed whale milk. In fact I don’t think there would be many species that haven’t been milk tasted by a human at this point

[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago (1 children)

humans are some curious little fucks

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

You spelt disgusting wrong

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'd drink whale milk without hesitation. It's probably fishy, though.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

Whales are mammals, so it probably tastes humany.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (10 children)

How TF does a baby whale nurse then? The momma whale is essentially pooping lard out of her nipple? That's a visual I didn't expect today.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago (3 children)

? it just drinks it? like sure its thick but it still flows

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

The analogy of toothpaste was used but yoghurt in a poch might be a better analogy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Imagine dairy flavored toothpaste

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Why imagine when you can live it? (Just don't tell them it isn't for your cat when ordering)

Edit: someone's already pondered this

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

Must consume the forbidden icing

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I've never had whale milk but I am willing to give it a whirl. who's with me

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

that would bring a new meaning to "full ~~cream~~fat" ice cream.... (editted a word)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That must make some ultra indulgent ice cream

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

so making cheese from whale milk would be like SUPER cheese.

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