A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
uBlock Origin forever and always. I've recently reinstalled Windows within the last 30 days and thus have a fresh installation of my browser and uBlock Origin β I have already blocked 609,521 ads, wild.
https://ublockorigin.com/ (Platform links at the bottom)
I fucking love ublock origin. It really pains me that I cannot use it on my ipad.
Learn to be curious. Donβt know that word, define it. Never heard of that person. Wikipedia. Ever wonder how a combustion engine works. Look it up. I grew up when I had to write things down and go the library. We live in an age of wonder with unlimited knowledge at your fingertips. There is no excuse for ignorance today. Youβre just being indolent. Learn to be curious π§
Also. Admit when you are wrong and apologize.
Respect is given
Disrespect is earned
"Respect is earned" - dickhead who expects to be respected by everyone else by default
Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever...
Obligatory "get a bidet" answer
"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago" - Alan Watts
This one is a bit hard-won for me. You see I used to be an asshole. It was my brand. I thought "it's just in my nature".
Fortunately, I was also a student of religion (mostly because I was a militant atheist. Know your enemy and all that). Studying Buddhism, I began to observe the nature of self. I found enough distance from it to see its transient nature.
I realized being an asshole was a choice and I could just as easily choose otherwise. Soon I began to discover this was true of most character traits.
I'm not saying you don't have consistent patterns of behavior. I'll hopefully always be curious and analytical. But for the most part, the way you conduct yourself and where you focus your attention is a choice.
So, if you're not happy with who you are maybe don't be so attached to the idea of 'who you are". And if that seems hard, observe what you pay your attention to and try to find the distance between observation and behavior. In that gap lies the choice you make, consciously or not, to be "you".
The philosophy of Bill S Preston, Esquire, and Ted βTheodoreβ Logan:
βBe excellent to each otherβ
Itβs really not that difficult to do the right thing, be an upstanding citizen, and contribute to a decent society.
Try leave everyone and everything better than you find it.
If you wouldn't take advice from someone, then don't accept their criticism.
Invest in anything that comes between you and the ground; shoes, mattress, and tires.
You beat me to it by a minute or two!
Donβt forget office chairs if you have a desk job!
A few years ago I read a post about self improvement where someone wrote about the concept of no-zero-days to form habits. It basically means you just need to do something meaningful every day to make it count, even if it's something very small. Read one page in a book - no zero day, do 10k steps - no zero day..
Of all the things I read and tried in the past to change my behavior, get more active, learn new things etc, this by far worked the best for me and basically changed my life.
Right now I have 18 different habits I'm tracking on my phone. Things like reading, learning Spanish, doing chores, solving a puzzle on lichess, taking a cold shower, learning something about world affairs/history, taking care of my finances, meditating etc..
I don't need to do all of them, one is enough. But because they require so little effort I quickly started to do more and developed habits I don't need to force myself to do.
Now I have a 1500+ day streak on Duolingo and do 2-5 minutes of Spanish lessons every day. For more than 4 freaking years. This eventually ended up in visiting a language school in Spain last summer. One of my best vacations ever.
I read almost daily and found interest in new genres. I get enough exercise at least a few times a week. I educated myself about finances and now I don't live paycheck to paycheck, paid off my debt and started to save something.
I later read about this concept in the book Atomic Habits and found variations of it in songs like Little Acorns by the White Stripes. In the end it's about breaking things up into small, easy pieces so you don't get overwhelmed or give up before you even start.
If anyone asks me what I swear by it's this. It's like magic.
When it comes to food: Try everything once. You never know if you like it if you never try it.
Iβm not talking get a whole plate of the food, but just try a small bite.
I had an ex who wouldn't try anything, it was infuriating. I asked him once whether he liked a vegetable, he said no, I asked how it had been cooked when he had it as maybe he'd like it if it was done a different way, and he said he'd never tried it. The only vegetable he'd eat was broccoli. He got upset when I said he had the eating habits of a toddler but I stand by that.
Don't skimp on anything that separates you from the ground: shoes, tires, mattress, etc. Your body will thank you later
I read a story on Reddit one time that some of you probably remember.
"Today you. Tomorrow me."
I think about that often and try to be a generally helpful and kind person to anyone in need. I guess that's a mantra that I swear by.
For me Uniqlo has taken a turn for the worse. Clothing I bought from them years ago is still in great condition. Things Iβve bought in the last year are falling apart and feel cheaper.
Don't buy cheap daily use items.
Shoes Mattress Car TV Computer
That doesn't mean buy the most expensive thing. if you rely on this thing to get you through the day, get yourself something of quality. Do your research. Often times, buying the more expensive thing now, can be cheaper in the long run.
Secondly: Use mental health professionals. Go to a therapist, psychologist, or anyone else trained to help people mentally. For years I advocated for my employees to seek help. I built work schedules around their appointments. I could tell that it help or productivity as a team. I did this for years. Finally, this year, I went to see a therapist myself. I've been having depression problems for a while but I never took my own advice. Now, just 4 months later I'm doing way better. Not perfect, but I can tell I've made very good progress.
I disagree about the TV. Unless you are flush with cash a $300 LCD TV is perfectly good in 2023, you wonβt lose any life satisfaction from not having the new $3000 OLED TV.
I sold computers for a major big box retailer for a while, and always tried to sell honestly. So many many stupid people.
"I know you are eyeing that 250 dollar Toshiba, but I really recommend this one for 50 dollars more that has a much better processor and ram"
"Stop trying to upsell us, we're taking this one"
Bud I wasn't trying to upsell you. I'm saying the Toshiba is hot garbage and you'll be back in a week complaining its slow. I know you don't want to spend too much, which is why I memorized each computer we have, and I'm telling you take this i5 over that Celeron.
No-one ever lay on their death bed wishing they'd done more ironing.
On the whole (unless it's necessary for a professional environment) it's a waste of time. I iron nothing, and got rid of my ironing board because it was just getting in the way. I've kept my iron just in case, but last time it was used was about 5 years ago when a friend was staying who needed to iron a shirt for a funeral.
Comparison is the thief of happiness.
I've found that by just focusing on what I have/can do and being content, I am generally very happy.
Sugaring.
I'll never understand why people continue to wax when sugar is an option. Wax is heated up to an extreme degree, which is why people can get burned. It sticks to your skin and rips off the top layer, which is why infections are common amd why its so goddamn painful. Wax requires multiple single-use paper strips, which is waistful.
Sugar never gets that hot so you'll never get burned. It only sticks to your hair, not your skin, so infection risk is much lower and it's not nearly as painful. No paper strips required, and only one glob of sugar is used.
Overall, all around, sugaring is far superior to waxing.
Never piss off the people who make your food, cut your hair, or work on your teeth.
Random list but I am told I am a unpaid ambassador for:
Zipper cases. These are thin pillowcases that close with a zipper. You then put the normal pillowcase over the zippercase.
Why? Because it extends the life of your pillow. A normal pillowcase can slide while sleeping, etc... which can cause your face, hair, head, body, and all the oil it produces to get on the pillow itself. With the zippercase, you have a second line of defense to keep the pillow fresh.
Sure, you can clean the pillow, or run it through a gentle cycle in the wash, but it is way better to just avoid that. Let the double layer of protection do most of the work and absorb that body oil.
Change case 1 or 2 times weekly, change/wash zippercase weekly. Your pillow will stay fresh and clean and much more pleasant for longer, for a minimal amount of added work of putting that second case on.
Anyway I hope you are sold.
The journey is the destination.
I have a problem with rushing through things. This has helped me slow down and appreciate what I'm doing. I'm not doing something so I can enjoy it after it's done, I'm doing it to enjoy what I'm doing.
Brew your own coffee. I used to drink instant coffee (think nescafe but with lots of sugar) or just buy from coffesshops. Now I just buy the beans I love, grind some and make it the way I want (how strong or milky etc). I no longer have acid reflux from goddamn instant coffee powder and stay fit since I don't put any sugar in it. Also saves some money from buying in coffeeshop everyday.
I have attention issues to and I can spend an entire day bouncing between two minute distractions. A list with three things that need to get done that day is what works for me. Sounds short, you can always do extras after, but having that list makes sure at least three things get done.
Also, iron skillets.
CeraVe unscented lotion punches way above it's class. Cheap enough to use as body lotion, good enough to use as face lotion. Apparently even the unimaginably rich Bryan Johnson, who does nothing but take care of his body and spends thousands a month on it, still uses this drugstore lotion because there really isn't much better at any price.
Mantra:
Product-wise:
I swear by Dorset Cereals' muesli lmao. It is such a small thing but I absolutely love all the flavours and recommend them to everyone I know. If I were a different sort of person, I'd be approaching them for a brand deal, what with all the word-of-mouth advertising I do for them π
I also swear by my Blundstones. They're great for walking, they always keep my feet dry in my very moist city, and they have lasted me really well so far.
For a moment I was wondering whether the "two minute rule" was a lower hygiene standard for the acceptable time in which you can eat things after dropping them on the floor.
The only thing I've found in life that I find super helpful or swear by is using dated lists to organise what needs doing in my life.
Linux
Compeed Blister Plasters. They are the best and excellent to have on hand after a long walk or breaking in new boots. No other brand or non-name brand comes even close.
You cannot pay people or companies to care. Do/Build it yourself whenever possible. And use this rule to fake unnecessarily expensive things like furniture or clothing. In most cases your worst service will still be better than hiring someone or buying a product from a company.
Why are there so many writing utensil suggestions in this thread? I haven't written anything down physically in years, I don't even know why you'd need a pencil or paper anymore.
Otterbox phone cases are legit.
If you cook, invest in good knives and keep them sharp.