this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
498 points (97.2% liked)

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Don't do it! Ghosts will show up and ruin your Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

At least the ghosts are helping us in the War on Christmas. Somebody's gotta be on the side of against Christmas in order for the culture war to make any sense.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Maybe the real war on Christmas is the ghosts we make along the way.

And whats more woke than helping those with nobody to fight for them.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't know how well you'll sleep with those four spirits visiting you, but sweet dreams.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Wait, what's the fourth spirit?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

The spirit of sexy Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

(Five if they're Muppets.)

Marley was dead, to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I feel like the only person in the world who can't stand polyester, especially in bed

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago

polyester is ass. 100% cotton all day every day

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

I hate it. It feels terrible on my skin and quickly smells.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

My mother is allergic to it. Real pain in the ass. You're not the only one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You mean like polyester underwear?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

And shirts, and bandaids, and thread, and gloves, and...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

I'll stick to mono ester, I'm not a Bigamist heathen.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago

needs more bifocals and mutton chops

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago

"He's clearly got some issues, I just don't know that PTSD is one of them..."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago

The "snoreee mimimimi" fit

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

Thats a child's nightcap, it'll be pretty uncomfortable

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

product page screenshots and not an order confirmation screen

Pussy.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

It's like 1900 when my eyelids drop.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Long winter’s nap.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

I dunno, sleeping naked is the best. Once I started sleeping naked, I could never go back, it just feels weird to have any clothes on in bed now.

The only reason I will put clothes on is if Im spiking a fever, so Ill put on some clothes to get my temp spike faster as I wait for the ibuprofen to kick in or the temp to reach the set point, then Ill undress.