Dude.
I'm a dude. He's a dude, She's a dude. We're all dudes.
this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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Trans women sometimes feel uncomfortable when they are called dude, so if you're aiming for maximum comfort of people, dude is not a great choice.
Well, to make a more serious comment instead of just quoting an old song from an old movie, it's definitely most important to call people by pronouns that they prefer. That's the number 1 priority.
That said, I have some trans friends who don't like gender neutral pronouns in general. One in particular has explained how much she has gone through to be able to identify as a woman, and using "they" instead of "she" makes her feel like she still isn't a woman.
So the real answer is there's no one word that will make everyone happy. They best way to do that is to ask people the pronouns they prefer.
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cousins
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friends
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y'all
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neighbors
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folks
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party party people
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fellow-travellers
and, of course
- fam
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Is buddy really a problem?
I'd be more worried that someone thinks I'm treating them like a dog, than a man.
Guys is 100% gender neutral.
Also, can't go wrong with the old standby "Stay Fresh, Cheesebags!"
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for singular use boo works, and plural you can say "hey, fuckos"
English is sorely lacking a second person plural. Y'all fills that gap well and should be adopted over other regional suggestions such as the Jersey youse guys or the dreaded Philly... yinz.
I'd avoid using "dude" as I've heard this specifically as an example that bothered some women.
Y'all is great. I use it often in the North East and only one schmuck ever said anything about it.
Buddy works, but comes off kind of aggressive towards strangers, same with pal or pals, but that may be my own regional affectation showing off.
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You're asking about a collective and also a singular...
Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too. For the collective "hey guys" I have no one-word replacement ("folks/folx" sounds equally southern and somehow more cringe), but you could replace the whole phrase with "hey everybody", "hi gang", "how are you all", or just "hey".
When speaking to any woman, I would advise against calling them "dude" or "man." Full stop. No further thoughts necessary on that one.
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Fellow bipedal meat-things.
Dipshits
I bit the bullet and was the cringy person at work who said "peeps". After a few months of do this, it was amusing to see the word spread until my boss's boss started saying peeps in meetings.
"Mate" is always a good option, I wish it's used more universally in the States, too.
I just omit the unnecessary words or use their name. That works OK, although I'm awful with names so usually it just becomes "Good job!" or "What's up?".
Funny story time: in English I find this is not so bad. In French it's worse. In Vietnamese it's awful. We have dozens of pronouns. They're not only mostly gendered, but contain information about their age and perceived status relative to you. It's a 3-dimensional matrix where the axes are approximately gender, age/hierarchy, and degree of relation (inlaws/blood relations/strangers). You even get a different word for yourself in some of these situations. Then sometimes there's a numerical rank inside each pronoun e.g. male uncle, my spouse's family, 3rd oldest.
The language is already at maximum pronoun burden. Honestly it would just be easier if we called each other 'human' or 'comrade' or 'citizen' or something equally encompassing. It's exhausting as a non-native speaker (and you are not ever allowed to use their names, that's considered super rude).
My darlings, tell me everything.
Comrade
My go-to is folks, but 1000 others have mentioned that already. So I will throw in "people".
"Hey people, how's it going?"
That works for me