"If we were sat on a bench together and someone came up and said 'One of you two is an idiot', I wouldn't think they were talking about me because I don't take offense easily".
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I've read it 10 times now, and I still don't get it (I think?). Am I the idiot on the bench? Is the insult about me? Can someone explain it to me please?
The best kinds are insults disguised as compliments.
"I hope your day is as pleasant as you are."
"I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your presentation."
"You never cease to amaze me."
I think the Frankie Boyle insult to an audience member is the best. It was a long story and I'll try and search for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX1jMmfG2Xk&t=60
"I am sure that with enough determination, you can make it to the top of the bell curve."