this post was submitted on 03 May 2024
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We're currently looking to start a family, so I thought I'd hit up YT for some advice as a male and the priority skew is mental. The most important thing is having a boy, apparently. Not tips for being supportive, how to help your partner, how to deal with anxieties about money and time.

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Dad's of Lemmy could you share some good advice for someone just starting a family please :D

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Father of two girls, wife knew I wanted a son I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. We play in the mud then have tea parties. They go hunting with me and paint my toenails. Love every minute of it.

Real advice: your wife/SO might be resistant to share the baby load. Hormones and the thing she grew in her belly popped out so she's kinda hard wired to do it all, at least mine was. Had to be gentle but firm that she isn't a machine and needed some alone time to sleep or self care, not just a mother.

As others have said be there to help, change diapers, feeding, etc. Be there for your wife and do what you can. Each baby is different. Also be prepared that either of you might not be entirely rational. a kid is a big change in just about all the ways. Lack of sleep, etc. Have some grace and it will all come out in the wash.

One other thing your baby is just that, a brand new human. They don't know they need (or how to) sleep or they need to eat so they'll cry cause they're hungry or tired and won't eat or sleep. It's ok to admit you're human and tap your partner in or just put the kid down in the crib and take a moment to calm down because it's frustrating.