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I'm really sorry for your loss. The worst thing about pets is that we usually outlive them. I've had to lose two dogs now, both thankfully making it to 14. I rescued them when they didn't have a loving home and gave one to them. When I did take them to the vet and had them put down, it was incredibly difficult and heartbreaking but one had issues like yours and the other just gave up on life and was ready to go. I miss both of them terribly, but you and I did it because we loved them. She did it because she's incapable of love.
Edit: Also, what the fuck is wrong with the six people (so far) who have downvoted you for telling a heartfelt story about losing a dog you loved? Shame on all six of you.
I think it's the smothering that's bringing in the downvotes. A shot to the back of the head would have been more humane.
Oh shit, I just re-read it. I think I misread 'smothering' as 'stroking' and thought he just let the dog die of a Xanax OD. I wouldn't call that the most sensible way to euthanize a dog, but I doubt it would have been too terrible as a way to go out. But to smother it as well? Never mind, shame on OP.
He was entirely insensate, and was effectively sedated. I don't own a gun, and gently smothering him was the only thing I could think to do without causing pain. I'm sorry you feel that way.
You don't know that you didn't cause him any pain just because he appeared to be sedated enough.
Absolute psychopathic behaviour.
“Ooo cant let the vets put sCaRy ChEmiCaLs into my literally dying dog. ill just SMOTHER HIM TO DEATH. Thats a much better way to go.”
edit. Also, “strange chemicals” and then gives his dog xanax. Dude. Really. You swapped chemical A for chemical B. Crazy mental gymnastics.
Yes, maybe in a nearby gravel pit.