The Onion

Where's the link?

Update: The headline is all there is

I'm going to write one:

"No, seriously, it's really good" insists Erin Mitle, a 34-year old home designer.

When asked what, specifically, Erin enjoyed about the new album The Tortured Poets Department, Erin said that she had listened to the new album nearly half a dozen times happily and was "totally convinced" that it was Swift's most talented work.

"It's even better than Lover", said Erin very quickly, before taking several deep breaths. "Even though obviously, that's like, crazy," she added.

While Erin was able to recite every song title and track length from the new hit album, as well as detailing each social media Easter egg leading up to the album's release, we were unable to nail down exactly what she liked about the album.

"Everything! I said everything! Look, if you don't like it or her music isn't for you, whatever, but I love it and she is so real."

Erin nodded her head in rapid succession along with her enthusiastic praise for Taylor.

"I don't know if you guys listened to Lover, but some of the lyrics from Tortured Poets Department are as deeply moving as Lover's title track's line "magnetic force of a man". God what a perfect line. Even though, duh, Tortured Poets Department lyrics are even better."

When asked if the new album was actually called 'The' Tortured Poets Department, Erin said she was going to call up her friend to discuss the album and had no further comments.

Ms. Mitle immediately left the room, leaving her phone between us on the coffee table, and has not returned to her own home in the last 40 minutes.

We're going to let ourselves out.