this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2024
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There is one screw on this chart that I have a mortal hatred for. Just one. That being the fat Phillips (called "Phillips/square" on this chart meme thing).
I have no idea why, but some companies can't resist the sadistic urge to put tiny versions of these fuckers on equipment that should just use a torque or Phillips screw head. But no, they want you to truly suffer. Because they don't stop there: they make the fragile little fuckers out of NICKEL. Which means they are extra malleable and prone to strip if you so much as look at them the wrong way. So imagine you need to replace a hard drive on a RAID-type storage pool that's already down two spares and you can't fucking get the drive out of it's sled because the vendor not only hired a bodybuilder to tighten the screws, but simultaneously chose the worst possible metal just for giggles and chose the screw head that they no body will have the proper bit for and will inevitably use a normal phillips on until it strips.
I now have a ritual procedure of putting every drive that gets replaced in the coldest cold aisle in the datacenter for at least 5 minutes just to make these fucking screws less likely to ruin my day.
Fuck whoever invented the fat phillips, even the lowest ring of hell is too good for them.
It's called Planned Obsolescence, sweatie. Now go out and buy a new device.
Buddy. I'm not talking about consumer equipment. I'm talking about enterprise equipment that costs more than your car. Step off.
And yes, I know planned obsolescence is a thing in enterprise. But that doesn't mean your enterprise customer won't make purchasing decisions based on the quality of such small components. We refuse to order from HPE, to give you an idea of how we take this sort of thing. We know what we're buying and how to use it and if we can't properly maintain it because the vendor is an asshat, we'll find a new vendor because fuck you we can't afford to put up with your shenanigans.
Ya. Just those guys, and anybody who eats turtles. Keep the psychos out of the nice parts of hell.
Every awkward fascist, sexist turtle will be gathered into an imaginary pot and cooked alive for all to see. The aroma and broth will be delectable.
If you have no idea what any of this means and no idea why I don this weird username, then I kindly implore you stay out of it for sake of your own sanity. Otherwise, lmk and I'll begrudgingly curse you with knowledge of the tale of a particularly disgraceful misanthrope and an even worse excuse for a human being.