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"okay everyone, stand up calmly and put on your parachute while the plane falls out of the sky.. once everyone is done with that, and all parachutes are secure, we will begin an orderly de-boarding.. thank you for your attention - while the plane falls out of the sky for some reason.."
People can barely get off or on a stationary plane in an orderly fashion.
There would be people climbing over one another and seats, people getting trampled, Stooging at the doors, people getting knocked out of the door without a parachute, and people falling to their death because they didn't put the parachute on right or they exceeded the weight limits of the equipment due to their American figure.
Right, the question definitely sounds incredible silly when you put it like that haha, but fair point. Was more thinking it would be better that some survived than none, but indeed: on a full passanger airplane this would probably never work out.
maybe you could pack a chute inside each seat, and then just dump all the seats out with everyone still in them.. chutes deploy automatically.. like a pilot's seat in a jet fighter, but less complicated..