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Upvotes and downvotes are also not anonymous to instance operators, which I really dislike.
But you are ignoring the biggest benefit to lemmy amd the fediverse. It's not just one reddit with one /r/weirdfetish. It's potentially infinite reddits with potentially infinite /r/weirdfetish. You sign up on one instance and can interact with (effectively) any other instance.
If a mod is abusive, report it to their instance admin. If the instance admin is abusive, subscribe to a community for the same topic on another instance. There's like eight general tech news communities. If one is run by an asshole, use a different one.
Personally, I signed up at the dbzer0 instance, which is run by one of the former admins of the piracy subreddit. I can interact with lemmy.world, lemmy.ml, lemmy.ca, beehaw, hexbears, blahaj, sopuli, solarpunkd, shitjustworks, and a ton of other instances I'm forgetting. Each one has their own communities (subreddits), with a lot of overlap.
Any user I don't like? I can block them. Any community I don't like? I can block the specific community on the specific instance. A whole instance I don't like? Can block the whole damn instance.
I agree that votes being public to admins should not be a thing.
But I think Lemmy's great strength will also be its biggest weakness. Yes, any instance can have its own version of any community. But when you segregate and splinter communities like that you end up with basically all of them eventually being a desolate wasteland of one post a month and one really big one with all the activity. Then the one big one decides "we are leaving/going private," and that basically kills everything. People might try other communities but most people want to be someplace active, and unless they all move to the same one you end up with less activity and less users very quickly.
Votes are public to not just to the original instance admins though but to any instance admin, right? If you setup your own instance and federate with another, then you should be able to view the votes for any communities on the one you federate with. The only privacy is that the default UI doesn't display it, but a different UI could:
e.g. the one for this post on kbin.social that shows Lemmy upvotes as favorites.
I feel like this should be more prominently disclosed to Lemmy users.
It has been regularly announced to people every few weeks, might be time for a refresher indeed
I'd argue that's the biggest inhibitor. Sure the idea of a rogue mod on weirdfetish1 pisses you off so you go to weirdfetish2, but weirdfetish2 has 1/100th the user base of weirdfetish1. Instead of weirdfetish2 getting built up, the people who use it eventually just get bored and move on.
Also with reddit you could just make literally "/r/weirdfetish2" there's nothing stopping you.