this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I mean buddy is already gender neutral.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So is "guys" as far as I'm concerned.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Dude" is the definitive gender neutral term.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I am thoroughly confused, isn't "Dudette" a term that's used for female Dudes? Or "her Dudeness" if you aren't into that whole brevity thing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

I thought that was just a meme name. Not like a real one.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Once a trans woman told me that "buddy" is gendered, but I didn'tβ€” still don'tβ€” understand that. But recently a customer called me buddy, then when he heard my voice he apologized and called me ma'am. So I don't know anymore.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Yah, I don’t get that. Buddy is quite clearly friendly and non-romantic. Some people feel it is gendered, and probably why you have kids named Buddy. Oh well.