Microblog Memes

Shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: I’m trying to tell you that I’m evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!

Me: You realize we are in the middle of a literal apocalypse and I am one of the only people who can stop it and save countless lives and you are still trying to nickel and dime me for a soda and some run of the mill agility potions? Like you have to understand that if I die and fail than you are also dead as well and if you have the magic ability to zoom ahead of me to deeper floors of this dungeons to repeatedly set up your shop without experiencing any harm from the creatures I am having to slaughter one by one by one… what the hell are you doing trying to make a quick buck selling crap to me?

Obviously your worldview is so warped that you don’t see the most evil thing you are doing is attempting to make a quick buck off of selling the hero tools that are essential to them saving the world, but honestly as exasperated as I am about this I work in the pharmaceutical industry and WOW by comparison selling me a pair of boots that is going to curse my strength is just amateur evil shit. Try getting a massive chunk of society addicted to opioids you wannabe evil schmuck and then get back to me about being evil.

Shopkeeper, taken aback and kind of concerned: ….are you ok? Damn what reality do you come from? This place is a literal hell dungeon full of creatures that want to dissect you slowly before feeding on your corpse but wow sounds like you have seen some shit