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How do you deal with colleagues that argue 45 minutes on a call about a variable name? (lemmy.world)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/cs_career_questions

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This dude is extremely persistent about having irrelevant things his way, and when he doesn't get it, he acts as if it were a personal attack. Do you guys have any argument or method to deal with this kind of people?

I used to say "whatever" and let him have things his way, but as I got more experienced I started to listen more to his arguments and basically respond "this makes no sense" (not with those exact words, of course).

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Is it in a meeting or a 1 on 1? If it’s in a meeting the person leading the meeting should take the initiative to stop the rambling and keep the meeting on track of the agenda. If it’s in a 1 on 1 be assertive and just say “yeah no, I don’t agree I’m not going to engage with you on this. Take it up with my manager if you like but if we don’t move the conversation on to the relevant topic I will hang up. I don’t appreciate that you are wasting my time again”

You need to be assertive with people like that and don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings since he doesn’t care about yours. They are used to getting their way by steam rolling over everyone, that’s why they act like that. The only way it will stop is if you show him that his methods won’t work on you by clearly setting your boundaries.