this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
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This sounds a bit like it might be accumulated stress rebound finally kicking in after the shitshow of your last job. Coupled with uncertainty about the future. The going through the motions feeling says to me that you aren't ready yet to challenge yourself too far. Take symptomatic relief for nausea (ginger is traditional and usually pretty effective) and distract yourself if you feel able to. Maybe plan a weekend (or a couple of weekdays) away by yourself in a pretty part of the country where you can enjoy some guilt free relaxation. Now that the school horrordays are over, prices drop and availability goes up and the weather is still nice. Somewhere like Hepburn Springs or Castlemaine or similar maybe. Here's hoping you feel recharged very soon.
Ah, I could give you a hug for this comment TW. I think perhaps you have dislodged something I wasn't willing to admit to. It might be a coincidence that I started feeling abruptly unwell on Sunday, the day after I submitted my only job application so far, one I'd sat on doing for two weeks because I honestly felt like I was trying to be someone I wasn't in order to do something I didn't really want... the old work mask has faded off fully and I don't feel like enough of a person yet to be back in the world, or at least that world...
I feel like I've already spent enough time relaxing/recovering, but I get the sense it's no longer the type I need. Have overseas visitors all of next week but after that I must book in some external time out instead of allowing myself to be digested by my own juices. Maybe the high country. Thank you for the sage advice as always.