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I think this problem is always going to exist when we're talking about large political or philosophical movements. There's no Council of Feminism who gets to decide who "counts" as a "real feminist". I've met self proclaimed feminists whose views are what I would describe as actively anti-feminist, but there's nothing I can do to change that.
An example that comes to my mind is how I grappled with the existence of Trans-Exclusionary-Radical-Feminism and it's adherents (TERFs). It wasn't just their transphobia I had beef with, but so much of their supporting worldview made me want to proclaim that they are "no true feminists". That felt intellectually disingenuous though, because who am I to say what "true feminism" is?
I've come to terms with this kind of discomfort, and it's something that has affected to what extent I call myself a feminist. I still do, but like any word, it's utility depends on context and often it's just not a useful label when it covers such a wide diversity of viewpoints. Certainly it shouldn't be seen as a synonym for "good", which is perhaps how I sometimes thought of it.
Well put. This is a very salient observation! But as OP said, I think feminism is a particularly bad name. It comes across to many as equivalent to misandrist, matriarchist, or a female only club. Rather than anyone in favor of equality for women.