this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
825 points (98.5% liked)
me_irl
4550 readers
1 users here now
All posts need to have the same title: me_irl it is allowed to use an emoji instead of the underscore _
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Except pressuring them is counterproductive and demotivating. Just adds to their stress and shame
The right kind of positive reinforcement can help people who are feeling depressed and defeated. Sometimes just being there and letting them know they're not alone in this, that they aren't unique in hating the job hunt, and that we all know how dysfunctional the system is can be the sympathetic boost they need to give it another go.
Just ignoring and isolating someone who is struggling isn't helpful either. Especially if they're paralyzed by anxiety or confusion.
The stress and the shame comes from feeling like you don't fit in. And the job hunting process necessarily involves a lot of rejections - often deeply personal rejections on subjects you had historically felt quite good about. Helping someone score even a minor W can count for a lot.
In my experience, one of the best cures to job hunt paralysis is volunteering. When you're working with other people to do something useful and beneficial to others, you get the sense that you really do have skills and add value to others. Also, its a good way to get outside your bubble and meet people who might want to pay you to do shit. If nothing else, the folks you volunteer with are usually good for a referral.
But just hiding in a dark room all day is fucking awful for the human psyche.
They are living rent free. They don't have any stress
not having any money is stressful as fuck.
not like living on the expense of others in a society where everything is about money feels any better either.