this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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me_irl
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When I was an early teenager I realized with an epiphany that I could take my paper route money, go to the grocery store, and buy my own cookies! It was a light bulb moment. No mom to tell me how many I could have. An entire box of cookies all to myself! So I did it, and I ate half a box of Oreo cookies, and drank 2 cherry Cokes. I got so sick that I threw up and had to go to bed several hours early. At that point I realized that my mom wasn't just being mean when she told me "no" and put limits on me, and I started listening to her more. Of course a couple of years later my real teenage years started, and I completely forgot that valuable lesson.
Did the same when I got to college and ate three packets of pop tarts for breakfast.
In my early twenties I started getting into the habit of eating a couple Pop-Tarts every morning for breakfas and began to notice Pop-Tarts were giving me pain in my heart. Literal pain in my heart. I've always been a healthy fit person, those Pop-Tart pains are the closest thing I've ever felt to a heart attack, and anyway that's how I stopped eating Pop-Tarts.
I'm reminded of Paula Poundstone's routine on how she eats a box of Pop Tarts a day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLLP1Wtrg0U
And that kids, is how I ~~met your mother~~ got diabetus.