this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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I'm masc presenting and I was worried for a while that women tended to not like submissive men, which was really discouraging for me. I found my current partner though, who does, and that's really changed my perspective. I'm not remarkable in any means (I'm 6' tall but not conventionally attractive, not thin/don't have tremendous muscle. Just kinda average) but my perspective has changed from "women don't like submissive men" to "lots of women do like submissive men, there's just 1) not a ton of them, 2) they don't tend to advertise it the same way men do, and 3) they don't tend to look as intently as submissive men do for dominant partners" -- partially because there's just less dominant women, and partially because I think they find long-term partners that meet those needs and that's it for them
I'm not gonna tell you it's easy, it's not, but I'm a thoroughly unremarkable person that was pretty comfortably in your shoes for a long time and then I lucked out into my partner. The best advice I can give is being a decent person goes a long way towards smoothing over any concerns with dom/sub dynamics, and if that dynamic is important to you it's good to be open to talking about it even if it results in failure. Find spaces where advertising that is beneficial too, join your local kink community -- I've been to a few kink events, namely just sloshes and munches, casual stuff out at a bar. Nothing tremendously freaky, but it's a good place to find women that might be more interested in someone that identifies themselves as a sub. Good luck!!