this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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January 26 marks the colonisation of Australia and the grief, heartache and pain that this has inflicted on First Nations people for generations. It is also a moment to recognise the ongoing survival of the oldest existing culture in the world today.

On January 26, 1788, Captain Arthur Phillip raised the British flag at Warrane, marking the beginning of British colonial rule on Gadigal land. This date, originally commemorated as Foundation Day, has evolved into Australia Day. However, this day also represents the start of the invasion, suffering, and dispossession for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. The true history of these lands spans over 60,000 years, far preceding colonial times.

When British settlers began colonizing Australia in 1788, between 750,000 and 1.25 Aboriginal Australians are estimated to have lived there. Soon, epidemics ravaged the island’s indigenous people, and British settlers seized Aboriginal lands.

Though some Aboriginal Australians did resist—up to 20,000 indigenous people died in violent conflict on the colony’s frontiers—most were subjugated by massacres and the impoverishment of their communities as British settlers seized their lands.

Between 1910 and 1970, government policies of assimilation led to between 10 and 33 percent of Aboriginal Australian children being forcibly removed from their homes. These “Stolen Generations” were put in adoptive families and institutions and forbidden from speaking their native languages. Their names were often changed.

For many Aboriginal and Torres Trait Islanders, January 26 is a day of mourning, symbolising the loss of their ancestors, their land, and their rights. It recalls the devastating impact of the Frontier Wars, the ongoing trauma, and the systemic injustices that continue to this day, including disproportionate rates of Black deaths in custody, health inequities, and the desecration of sacred sites. Celebrating on this day overlooks these painful realities and the resilience of First Nations peoples in the face of ongoing colonisation.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The further in time i get away from my breakup from my ex, the more i see the red flags.

People really do hide their controlling nature until years in sometimes 😔Another reason victim blaming is shit. Like sorry i didn't realize someone was hiding their worst from me until years later agony-consuming And when the person you trust most is acting like what they did is no big deal, it's easy to gaslight yourself into accepting it.

CW mild references to non-physical abuse

spoilerShe literally said in text that she was taking money from me because i "deserved it" like what the fuck????????????? But somehow it's taken a long time for my brain to stop making excuses for her and accept that was actually abuse. As was the other controlling things she did. Like the times she threw 8 hour tantrums if i so much as had a grumpy expression on my face, even if it was grumpiness from work... me being slightly upset at all triggered her RSD and then it became about calming her down for the next solid 4-8 hours after. it just became easier to hide how i felt than express any negative emotion at all. And then when i couldn't control it, and show the very slightest negative emotion like sighing then she accused me of overreacting and getting too angry at her :| When she got upset with me for putting my elderly cat over her family, i defaulted to shutting down to try to get my feelings under control as to not show a single iota of emotion, as usual. But then she did something different, she started goading me and said "Oh i guess this conversation is over and i should go." i lost my temper, sighed dramatically and asked "what do you want from me, go back in time?" and the she literally said "i need to be able to give you feedback without you getting upset at me" and acted really hurt, like i had literally like called her a slur or been really hurtful on purpose. When i had been unable to give her any sort of negative feedback for our entire relationship. The projection was off the charts.

When i got into my next relationship and my partner reacted normally to me being slightly upset with them, instead of berating me for my feelings and saying i was controlling them i was like ???? wait what??? it's okay for me to share that i'm unhappy? You.. actually want me to feel better and aren't just going to make this about yourself? What the fuck

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I'm glad you are in a better place. Its good to share this sort of story so if anyone else is going through something similar they can see that it can be better.