this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2024
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I'm not trying to diminish your experience, but it's called "dogwhistling" for a reason. You, being in a secure happy relationship, are unlikely to hear it. But a deeply insecure young man looking to externalize his shame absolutely will. He is the target, not you.
I know you didn't mean harm, and FWIW, this is not my opinion, it's a central tenant to Incel ideology. Here is the exact same "joke" on the Incels wiki.
Right, thanks for pointing out that it would be dogwhistling if I had done it intentionally. I'm not taking it down though, seems like there is sufficient discussion in the comment section about this, plus people seem to think it's more funny than it's offensive.
Meme-style dogwhistling actually relies on unwitting "carrier" intermediaries to spread and normalize the ideology. You see the same technique a lot with anti-trans memes too ("I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter" is a common one that gets often repeated by non-transphobes).
By posting, upvoting and laughing, "normies" (emotionally secure people) play into the propagandists hands. A dogwhistle is not just the meme itself, but the entire social scenario around it. The real target of the whistle will see upvotes and laughter as reinforcement that the "unspoken ideas" espoused in it are true (there are a few in this thread).
“I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter” to me sounds like it makes fun of made up tumblr genders.
Anyway, I guess I don't see it the way you do. I think it's a lot of over analysis that turns people into censorship/word police. I don't prefer absolute censorship because it puts discussions to death. I'd rather this is out there and talked about rather than removed to be only in corners of the internet where these "incels" would gather alone, further removed from society.
If you think it's problematic, by all means do report it.
Again, this isn't just some arbitrary opinion I hold, it is actual Incel propaganda. You are welcome to spread it wherever you please, I just thought that you might want to be made aware.
Thanks for the details you provided though, it was informative and might affect the next time I post something like this (maybe I'll add some kind of disclaimer or something).