this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
219 points (92.9% liked)

Asklemmy

43801 readers
1388 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
219
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

This time of year is meant to be filled with joy and family get-togethers, but not everyone has family or anything to be happy about. So are you ok?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not really. I'm estranged from my family and this is a hard time of year to be that way, but unfortunately my mother has a personality disorder and thinks people are furniture to be rearranged to her dysfunctional liking. One Christmas she had a psychotic episode and told me it's my fault my brother is gay (because I showed him how to use the internet in the 90s), a fact that makes her insane with rage even though he was gay long before that lol. It's never a happy memory really. And she's apparently doing everything she can to ruin his relationship inch by screaming inch, even though he doesn't talk to me either because he's completely controlled by her, and I feel terrible about how awful she's going to make this holiday for him. He deserves better even if he's spineless and under her thumb, he deserves a chance at life not controlled by her.

Personality disorders are no joke. They ruin lives and destroy relationships. I don't recommend staying in a relationship with someone with one. It's not their fault, but when they cultivate their behaviour you are not safe in a relationship with them. They're dangerous people.

My husband's family is no better, his mother is a narcissist that views family time as a chance to pit her children against each other for the sport of it, and terrorize her only grandchild emotionally. I refuse to go near her.

It's just a lonely time.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I see you. Hope you can find some peace

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thank you. At least I have a bit of time off and my coworkers were great. Just sad, you know?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah, and it's OK to feel sad, I'd imagine that's a normal reaction to have in that situation. In my experience it's a rough part of the process of getting back to a better normal. Hope you can get to the better parts sooner than later, stranger :]