this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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Some of it must be regulatory... car chimes when you open the door and stuff I know is NA-only, even brand new cars in Europe know to STFU unless they have something actually meaningful to say. In my experience even the seat belt alarm doesn't turn on under a certain speed (somewhere around 10-15 km/h on my car I think, at least it shuts the fuck up when maneuvering in a parking lot).
False alarms on the nannies is highly brand dependent. On my 2018 VW I've had it freak out maybe 10 times over 60k km, it's rare and almost every time it was understandable why it would freak out (and never did it actually hit the brakes for me for a false alarm). So I've never felt the need to disable the nannies.
I don't mind the alarms for things that are actually issues - open the door and the keys are in the ignition, or I left the lights on, or even the seat belt reminder when I start the car. But when I'm rolling along and everything is fine, a loud screeching alarm out of nowhere is extremely disturbing...and doubly so when I realize that there was actually nothing I was doing wrong. It really is like having a backseat driver screaming at me, and it pisses me off. I have screamed at the car to shut the fuck up on a few occasions. God I hate it.
And, I promise, I'm not driving aggressively or anything like that to trigger this shit. I'm really not. I'm a pretty careful driver; our other car is from 1999 - I bought it new and still own it and drive it, so I must be doing something correctly. I'm not saying I never make mistakes, either. I just try to keep them small enough to not have huge consequences.
Yes, one time I did get a little close to the vehicle in front of me that was turning and triggered the BRAKE alarm (not the actual brakes, just the alarm)...okay, I don't do that any more. But I think that might be the ONLY time it has actually alerted me somewhat correctly...and even then things were well under control and I wasn't going to hit them; it was just closer than it liked. The rest of the time...it's like "I know more than you."
I understand some people are busy doing other things instead of driving and need that stuff. Fine, they can have it. But why do I have to pay to have it in my car? And any minor crash is going to cost that much more to repair, too.
Yeah I have screamed at the car a few times as well for backseat driving (and I'm also someone who disables the satnav voice because I hate being interrupted by someone yelling at me), but at least with VW it's extremely infrequent despite having driven quite aggressively for a couple years before I stopped commuting by car.
It just take one time of it slamming the brakes for one pedestrian to make up for it 100 times over, so I'm fine with it.
(Also specifically the minor crashes will not break the emergency braking systems thankfully, AFAIK it's made up of a battery of sensors on top of the windshield, a computer, and hooks into the braking system alongside the ABS/ESP)
You might be right about the sensors. All I know was that we were in an extremely heavy rainstorm - a time when it would have been nice to have the lane assist - and the system was like, "Ha. I'm useless here and shutting down. You're on your own!" I was assuming some sensors in the bumper or whatever were overwhelmed, but a camera-based system might explain that, too.