this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2023
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Mildly Infuriating

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I am 23 and I am currently in the dating scene. I've had no success and I've had the fourth person lose all interest in between setting up the date and the long wait between the date. It typically goes match on dating site, set up date, try to get to know each other over snap and then interest lost. I do tend to respond quickly but it's not like I am constantly spamming or shit like that. I am just tired. It's such a dumb minor thing but it seems to be destroying my chances. I am on the autism spectrum and I find texting and shit like that extremely stressful. I know no one is actually going to like past that. Divergence is punished must stick to strict social rules around dating fuck being my actual self I guess.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I would probably think about the things I enjoy doing by myself. Then, little by little, trying to add space for that someone to do that same thing with you. Then learning, what hobby/activity works OK, fine or even very well while socializing with someone and what doesn't, and how much time you can actually give for someone before you get (close to) exhausting yourself. And forgetting to keep in touch through messages cos that's not gonna work out for you but rather giving a call to that someone when you feel like meeting up, face to face.

Then it's down to more experimenting, of what you can do, they can do, you together, how often, and if you guys become something bigger, then delve into that matter slowly. Talking is the key here, so both get chances to learn something out of yourself and the other.

I don't think it's a good idea for you to go too far out of your comfort zone. I believe that little steps just out of that circle can train you and teach you something valuable, and going too far just gets you burned or broken down, needing lots of time to regain your energy. Choose your own pace, choose ways to try out new things and explain to that someone, how your brain works so they can decide, is it worth it to start with you. If it's not, keep trying until someone thinks it is.