this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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Ah yes. Secrets. The proper way to have a loving marriage.
No wait. That's the proper way to be unhappy and get a divorce or a loveless marriage.
Back in grandma's day (in the US at least) women were financially trapped in their marriages by a system that wouldn't allow them to get credit cards or open bank accounts without their husband's permission, even if they worked. Having a small stash allows a person to choose to be in a marriage, not be forced.
It's outdated advice but it comes from a good place.
Yup. My great grandma always had funds hidden somewhere. Cash, of course, because she couldn't legally open a bank account (plus a lot of this happened during the Depression). She couldn't just leave because a) marital rape is a thing and she had a whole bunch of kids and b) you just didn't really do that back then. But her stash made sure the kids ate and had clothes even when grandpa was being more of a pos than usual. It was just sensible.
Plus, it's still good advice for women in abusive relationships, so that when they're ready to leave, they at least have something.
Thanks for adding this context. It's important to remember. If your partner is financially irresponsible and will spend all your joint account money whether they should or not, back up accounts are the only answer.
Y'all just making a case for the account with your whiny attitude tbh
My Grandma was still scarred from the Great Depression when I was growing up so always ingrained a bunch of weird rules into me. I still have money tucked in my shoe when I go out. She said to have a dollar bill in there at all times but with inflation I switched it to a 20. Can’t say I’ve had to leverage my “shoe money” since most places take cards but it has come in handy a few times across the past 30 years.
Sounds like you've got walking around money.