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AITA for doing a GoFundMe? (Details within.) (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Living in the U.S. here, so non-American advice may not be the best thing for me, not sure.

I am living with an undiagnosed serious illness (haven't eaten for 45 days.) I am off work on FMLA, which is a thing businesses in the U.S. offer to their employees where you can taker time off and they will keep your job for you, but you don't get paid. We are not exactly poor, but we are going to be surviving for at least a month on a single income. That will be hard, but we'll make it if we cut back.

HOWEVER.

I have $1000 in medical debt, which will just keep climbing, and I also have a cousin who says that he can get me into the best hospital in New York- I'm in Indiana and we're not exactly at the forefront of medicine- to get thoroughly tested. I cannot afford either of these things. We do not have temporary disability insurance.

I have a lot of friends and relatives who might donate, but I feel like such an asshole asking for money. Especially when my wife is working and has a decent job. I've done everything I can since I was 18 to make it on my own and, while I have had to take handouts in the past, it was at the 'this or starve' level, and my doctor hasn't run out of tests to do on me yet, so I wouldn't quite put it like that. And what if the money isn't enough to go to New York and pay for all of this testing? Do I give it all back?

So should I do a GoFundMe? What do you think?

Please, please, please, please do not give me medical advice. I really really do not want medical advice from strangers on the Internet. I leave that to professionals. But I would love this bit of AITA advice.

TL;DR - Very ill, not working, in debt, possible solution in another state. Should I do a GoFundMe?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You can file bankruptcy independently. It’s a bit more complicated but possible.

I just went through it and honestly, I’m so relieved. It’s not something you want to go through, but sometimes people fuck up and can’t unfuck their finances. It helped me and my wife unfuck our finances. We declared bankruptcy in March and were debt free by May. We now own a house and are actually able to live our lives how we want. Our daughter turned a year and we decided to throw her a massive bday. We put 2 grand into her party. Something we couldn’t have done with our debt. We’re going to a couple USL playoff games this season as well.

On top of that we got new flooring in our house, something we desperately needed. We just had a new furnace installed. I have a quote coming for replacing our stairs that are falling apart. The loans are a pain to get but it’s doable and we’re paying them off before the interest gets too bad. Again, something we wouldn’t be able to do in debt.

Bankruptcy shouldn’t be something anyone wants to do, but also don’t be afraid of it.