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AITA for doing a GoFundMe? (Details within.) (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

68 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Living in the U.S. here, so non-American advice may not be the best thing for me, not sure.

I am living with an undiagnosed serious illness (haven't eaten for 45 days.) I am off work on FMLA, which is a thing businesses in the U.S. offer to their employees where you can taker time off and they will keep your job for you, but you don't get paid. We are not exactly poor, but we are going to be surviving for at least a month on a single income. That will be hard, but we'll make it if we cut back.

HOWEVER.

I have $1000 in medical debt, which will just keep climbing, and I also have a cousin who says that he can get me into the best hospital in New York- I'm in Indiana and we're not exactly at the forefront of medicine- to get thoroughly tested. I cannot afford either of these things. We do not have temporary disability insurance.

I have a lot of friends and relatives who might donate, but I feel like such an asshole asking for money. Especially when my wife is working and has a decent job. I've done everything I can since I was 18 to make it on my own and, while I have had to take handouts in the past, it was at the 'this or starve' level, and my doctor hasn't run out of tests to do on me yet, so I wouldn't quite put it like that. And what if the money isn't enough to go to New York and pay for all of this testing? Do I give it all back?

So should I do a GoFundMe? What do you think?

Please, please, please, please do not give me medical advice. I really really do not want medical advice from strangers on the Internet. I leave that to professionals. But I would love this bit of AITA advice.

TL;DR - Very ill, not working, in debt, possible solution in another state. Should I do a GoFundMe?

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ask yourself, if the roles were reversed would you judge a friend harshly for asking for help? Of course not. Do what you need to do to survive.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

True, I wouldn't.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I agree with the post above. As an American and as someone going through something similar, if it comes down to either asking for some funds from friends and family to aid in taking care of your family -- or risking medical debt -- take any help you can get. As you said in the original post, debt will start to compound and can get out of control fast. Further, managing that debt and your medical issue at the same time may take a wild toll on you and your family.

Take care of you and yours first, pay it forward when you are healthy. People won't think you're an a-hole if you are responsible with what they give. Anyone who does think badly of you for asking for help.... You maybe should reevaluate your connection with them because id bet people that care just want you back to good health.

Best of luck figuring it all out, I know it can be hard.