this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
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I don't have kids yet but things like these make me wonder how a parent would deal with the kids having a smartphone. If you don't get them one they're going to feel left out as you can be sure as hell that most other kids have one. I'm no psychologist but to me if you buy your kid a smartphone then you basically risk having him/her destroy his/her brain cells and attention span with Tiktok and Snapchat. When I was a kid I did have a cellphone, and I had a PC too, but our house back then didn't have internet and receiving thousands of notifications in a single day was definitely unheard of back then.
That’s a very valid concern. Personally, I think parents should keep their kids away from phones much longer. While I’ve only got a kid on the way, I’m hoping to keep them off of smartphones until high school.
That sounds too long to me. Since later in elementary school (3rd grade), smartphone (and tablet I had at the time) have been really useful tools for me. Sure, I definitely wasted plenty of time on Minecraft videos, but it's not any worse than TV. It helped me learn a lot of what I know now. Without that, I'd have problems getting into any high school. For example, it helped me fly through chemistry and physics like a breeze. Also I learned English, which has unlocked me access to even more info. I wouldn't have been able to pass 7th grade without studying for history, again on my phone.
But of course, there was less crap than now. I am happy I got to grow up with YouTube channels like ExplainingComputers, ElectroBOOM, LGR, Scott Manley, Techmoan, The 8-bit guy, Tom Scott, Veritasium, Ted-Ed, and others I don't remember.
But even before I had smartphone, I could already watch youtube on my Sony Ericsson W200i. That was something. It ran at like 5fps in SD quality, but it worked. And 50MB was basically infinite data.
I watch most of those channels so here are a few unsolicited recommendations:
Technology connections
Cathode Ray dude
And maybe Aging wheels
I definitely think tech should be a part of their life, but a personal smartphone is something I personally feel can wait.
Can you explain why?
At this point, smartphones can most of the time replace desktop/laptop computers. At least Android. I am not sure how it looks on the side of iOS. Though, of course, using e.g. Collabora Office on smartphone isn't nearly as convenient as LibreOffice on laptop, but it can be done. And with Termux, it feels anything is possible.
If you mean that they'll have it 24/7 which feels unhealthy, they can just leave it at home. I did that until high school (my own decision) because I didn't want to break my phone. In fact, I still do that when I go walk my dog. I just bought the cheapest dumb phone that I don't have to worry about for cases of emergency. It was less than 10 bucks. Of course I tend to forget it, so it doesn't really work.
I want my kids to have the tools they need to succeed, and I realize a smartphone has nearly become essential at a certain age, but they also control the lives of many people. Technology is an amazing tools, but it has been designed to be highly addictive. Kids have enough problems to deal with, and I don’t want to make things harder for them.
—- edit —- I suppose what I’m really trying to say is that I want my children to first learn healthy habits.
I'm torn because your cell phone use sounds pretty healthy but I worry others get a more negative experience overall especially with social media.
Also the idea of anyone prior to high-school having cell phones feels odd to me, when I was in school kids worked summer jobs to buy a phone so senior year of high school was a popular year to get into the cell phone game. I didn't get one myself until I completed college and thought I'd need it for work (I didn't). Hardly use it but it is expected to have once you're in your mid 20s making appointments and whatnot. But do people really expect you to have one in elementary school?
My friends gave their kids a cell phone at 12. Lots of parental controls on it.
That’s about what I’m expecting. 12 and 14 aren’t that different.
disable notifications for most apps. I'm not sure if you can do it for iPhone, but any android phone, you can stop any app from sending any type of notification, even separating based on category. Eg. Turning off all youtube notifications except for security ones.
Have your kid read books, this will do wonders in helping them get ahead near the start of their school life, as well as doing wonders on their creativity and imagination.
Limit their screen time, and force them to find something else to do with their time. My mum did this to me, I hated it growing up, but I'm incredibly grateful now. It forced me to find ways to have fun without technology.
Drop these restrictions down when they are a teenager. Teenagers want freedom. Hopefully, through making your kid read books while growing up, they will choose to read books in their teenage years. I know I did, and both my sisters did.
Although this is the thoughts from someone who is 20, going off their own recent experience and from watching their siblings, I would definitely love to hear thoughts from others about this, tho.
My classmates get similar amount of notifications. It doesn't seem to be a problem, they just ignore all of them. There's no way you're going through each of those.
If you aren't even looking at most notifications why have them enabled? Just seems like you are torturing yourself by that point.
I block notifications on all my devices for most things beyond messaging apps. I also turned off badges on my mail client because I already know I'll never get to zero, so why remind myself of that?
Where are you guys subscribed to? I only get a couple e-mails per month.
I hope to teach my kids the beauty of Do Not Disturb. I get a lot of notifications but they don't notify me.