Asklemmy

43986 readers

784 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

142

Is it wrong for 25M to date 19F? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

155 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I met this girl by chance and we really hit it off, once I learned of her age I decided to just be friends as I think that 19 to 25 is an age were we mature a lot and I remember myself as a 19yo and I was not mature enough to be a good partner and to be good to myself.

I talked to a female friend of mine and she said that I'm over thinking it and that I should ask her out and be open minded, and so I did and we are going on a date soon.

The thing is, she seems really mature but I can't put aside the age gap.

Am I over thinking it? Should I really just take it slow and just be vigilant about the situation and notice if this isn't healthy for me or her?

Or should I let her down easy and continue as friends?

Update: We went on a date and it was great, I read all of the comments and there were some really good advices that I took to heart. I will take things slow and try to be as aware of the situation as possible. I hope it will go well :)

Thank you everyone!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I agree. I was in college at 19 and I would not have been able to grow as a person in the same way, if I had been dating a 25 year old at the time. You're just at different stages of life at this point.

I'm not saying it's impossible for this to work out well for some people. Clearly in the comments here it has, and I have friends with a greater age difference who are now happily married.

But in general, no I don't think this is a good idea. If it was the same age gap but meeting later in life, no big deal. But a 19 year old is at a very different point in life than a 25 year old and she needs to be able to grow on her own outside of a relationship with an older person.