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Is it wrong for 25M to date 19F? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So I met this girl by chance and we really hit it off, once I learned of her age I decided to just be friends as I think that 19 to 25 is an age were we mature a lot and I remember myself as a 19yo and I was not mature enough to be a good partner and to be good to myself.

I talked to a female friend of mine and she said that I'm over thinking it and that I should ask her out and be open minded, and so I did and we are going on a date soon.

The thing is, she seems really mature but I can't put aside the age gap.

Am I over thinking it? Should I really just take it slow and just be vigilant about the situation and notice if this isn't healthy for me or her?

Or should I let her down easy and continue as friends?

Update: We went on a date and it was great, I read all of the comments and there were some really good advices that I took to heart. I will take things slow and try to be as aware of the situation as possible. I hope it will go well :)

Thank you everyone!

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I dated a 5 year younger woman in my twenties for 5 years and while the age gap itself wasn't an issue to us or anyone else, what turned out to be an issue, was that she changed quite dramatically during those 5 years and we ended up growing apart. That's a feature of a young age though, not the age difference.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

This is the real issue. Date her and have a great time, but don't consider moving in together or getting married for years. I got married when we were both 18 and after a few years, she turned into a different person and ended up really hurting me. 0/10 would not do again.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I think this is the biggest risk. 19 year olds often change a lot before they’re ready to settle down. If OP is looking for a long term relationship it’s more risky.