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How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

The problem is not monogamy vs polygamy, the problem is to find the right person.

Also, it is not a matter of finding "the one". It is a matter of finding someone you can love. And then you need to learn how to get through shitty moments and love again.

I don't mean that you should stay in a toxic or dangerous relationship, but that it is easy to get angry and think that it's over with someone, but in reality anger and love come and go. The thing is to understand why you love someone so you can love this person again and again.

Now maybe some people are not like that and its good for them. But please don't tell me that I should love several people at once or that I should consider relationships like a consumable thing. I am unable to do those things.