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How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There's evidence that monogamous relationships existed for tens of thousands of years and the idea that these relationships lasted about 4-5 years each, long enough for one person to be able to more easily care for a young child as they got older. That's not a psychological construct. It's bonding, connection, hormones, and a biological drive.

Now, I'm not discounting what people in a relationship feel for each other. I've been with my husband for almost 17 years, married almost 7. But I can also acknowledge that part of our love is hormones and biology, the same way that I acknowledge my desire for children is partially hormones and biology. That's just how I'm wired.