this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I mean…it kinda makes the most sense to bring Jesus back.

  • Still none of us would leave the house to rent movies if blockbuster came back.

  • None of us have shopped at toys r us since were had our own money to spend, so toys r us wold exist to us all the same way it does now: a fond memory.

  • RadioShack…I mean, would anyone not buy their shit online if that happened? Nah. Also, not to mention, fuck corporations and chain stores and consumerism.

And if you bring Jesus back…he’s a socialist pacifist Jew that might have a chance of setting the worst America has to offer right on their misguided opinions. We need more powerful anarcho-socialists, especially powerful ones—and I mean, literally powerful. He is purportedly magic. Boom. Goodbye capitalism.

No question. Bring Jesus back. And Conan.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean, if we're bringing like Bible Jesus back, I'd agree. But if we were to bring back the actual Jesus, he'd probably just be some religious lefty with a podcast and no one would care.

I'm not sure how a socialist jew half way around the world from me is going to help me find a specific value capacitor that I need immediately to fix an AV reciever I just picked up from goodwill.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He does make a good point. As much as I like online ordering, being able to go to a store and get what I need the same day is something else

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I love living just a short drive from a MicroCenter.

[–] HamBrick 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lucky. The closest one to me is at least a state away

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Lucky. The closest one to me is at least an ocean away

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I mean…you could still do that. There are just more advanced electronics stores. Just because they’re not called RadioShack doesn’t mean you can’t still got to a store.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

[Incoming text message] Cast your eyes to the other side of the car, my child. That discarded television contains the capacitor you need at the end of the spotted blue and white cable.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not to mention the absolute melt down that would happen with the worst of Americans if he came back the same race he was when he died.

Oh man the amount of evangelical Christians in America who think Jesus was white is way too damn high.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The amount of evangelical Christian’s in America who think Jesus was white is way too damn high.

You mean…100%?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You didn't read revelations, did you? When he comes back... Let's just say it's going to be a rough ride.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We're already in for a rough ride. Seeing "Christians" get what's coming to them would be so worth it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

While the irony of the distraction of most of them along with the rest of us would be briefly enjoyable, I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

I am irked by the fact that some of them are actively seeking to trigger a real Armageddon, though. That group should be handled with extreme prejudice.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Like we aren't prepped for that...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Conan the O'Brien?