this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Off My Chest

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I did say I haven’t spoken to him since he moved out of the house to a hotel. This is true.

However, he’s been trying to reach me online and is desperate. My father (54M) is a narcissist. Though a lot of narcissists can be well-intentioned, he has done more harm than good.

My father is an alcoholic. Though he stopped for a year or two after becoming really nasty and getting himself and possibly us banned in more than one place, he started drinking again.

I knew my father was a narcissist. I tried to be on good terms with him despite his “eccentricities.” When I received a message from him asking to tell my mom to get back with him, I reluctantly told her and she didn’t want to.

He got mad at me for this and said I betrayed him and brought dishonor to our Chinese family (we’re white Europeans, by the way, with no affiliation to China). Anyway, I blocked him and so did the rest of the family.

Later, on instagram, I found an account with a profile picture of something I was interested in trying to chat with me, claiming to be a 17 year old girl. When I started to chat with “her”, she eventually brought up the “dishonor” again because “she” is Chinese and would know.

He has also said “ 你给家族带来了耻辱,真是可耻!” He is not Chinese, but speaks it at least a bit. I blocked that “girl” and I’m really hoping he doesn’t do it again. What do I do?

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[–] riskable 23 points 2 days ago

"Pretending to be a young girl in order to commit fraud against your own child brings dishonor to your family."

"Alcoholism brings dishonor to your family."

"Narcissism brings dishonor to your family."

"Put a family picture on your next bottle of alcohol to remind you why you're alone."