this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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I've seen this mentality way too much on Reddit subs. Often by the same people that say they are just "neurospicy" and that ADHD is quirky and makes up their entire identity. God that shit is cringe.
Even saw someone recently ask people if they would cure their ADHD if scientists came up with a cure. 90% of the responses were by sane people saying, "WTF question is that? Yes, I would cure it, it's a disability!" and the op was just replying to them that ADHD was the reason they were creative and was their identity... Bro... Sometimes, I feel like some of these people aren't even real.
To be fair, if you've been diagnosed as an adult, ADHD is a huge part of who you are. You've lived with it your entire life and you've developed coping mechanisms accordingly.
But I get what you're saying!
Diagnosed 39. Absolutely like I would not want to remove my coping mechanisms and be free??? Wtf
I was recently diagnosed (at 42). Up until then I had no clue what was wrong with me. If I could travel back in time and get treatment in my early years, I would definitely do it. But as it is, it has become part of my character, whether I like it or not. I'm not romanticizing it in any way, just putting it the way it is.
You don't understand what it is and has made it your character instead of being yourself. It is not part of your character to have problems that disturb your daily life. A diagnosis comes when it is disturbing you. If you're over it, you should not have a diagnosis.
No, but everything that happened around this illness did have an impact on my life. Learning to live with it (unknowingly), all the difficulties I have faced and somewhat overcome did build a certain character. Character isn't something you're born with. It's how you interact with your surroundings that builds your character. Whether I like it or not. 40 years of this shit has an impact on how you do things, the friends you make, everything. Claiming that this hasn't formed my character would be a lie. I'm definitely not over it. I got diagnosed because work became too difficult to handle and I sought help, believing it was a depression or a burnout. I never knew it was ADHD (and depressions from the shit i had to go through in my childhood) up until very recently. I'm now getting treated and it is an absolute godsend. And that's just therapy. Meds are coming soon. Still have to go through some medical hurdles first but I'm very eager to find out how meds will have an impact. Looking back at what I could have achieved without this illness really brings me to tears at times.
So again, if I could travel back in time and were able to eliminate this illness from the beginning, I wouldn't hesitate a bit. It might have made me a different person than I am now, but I'm very sure life would have been easier.
I don't really understand, we are discussing if you want to be cured. And you do. No one has said it will destroy your character, except the people that has made these arguments for not curing themselves and they are just fundamentally not understanding how the diagnosis works
I have a feeling we're talking about different things. I just wanted to add to the OP that a life with ADHD does have an effect on your character. I didn't want to put any value into whether that is good or not.
If you can make it so I never had it, I'm in. No idea what that would mean for me, how I'd suddenly be a different person, but if it means I get to not have all the bullshit memories from my childhood and instead have had a nOrMaL life, yes please.
Just "curing" it, as in, I don't have it anymore starting now, wouldn't do me any good.
I was diagnosed at 24, it's just a disability. It's not part of who I am at my core. Developing coping mechanisms to deal with the disability isn't part of me, it's necessity.
I mean many "sane" people, myself included, wouldn't "cure" their disabilities because it is part of who they are. I'd rather society cure itself of its ableism than me have to change who and what I am. I have more issues than just my ADHD though, and "curing" all that would fundamentally make me a completely different human being. To each their own though.
Disabilities can be managed to the point they cause minimal disturbance to your life, thanks to modern medicine and technology alongside accessibility legislation. As well, what I have had to struggle with has made me a more compassionate person towards other people's struggles. That's not an idea, that's a fact. You aren't going to convince me to love myself any less.
What a strange and messed up thing to say! You have no idea what my life is like, so please don't dare to comment on it. ✌️
You are the one that misjudged and dismissed me as if I am not allowed to exist unless I accept your choice of what I say and think?
How are the comments even removed? So you can change what I said? Redicilous.
I said very clearly "you are more than that" I gave you power. You are better than this.
And you chose to receive "they want me to not love myself"
It is your glasses. You interpret the world as judging you and look down on yourself compulsively. You have a victimisation complex and it is something you can do something about if you just stop deflecting any help and issuing a signal to yourself that it is okay to receive help and change.
Eventually, when you do this to people around you, you will create the exact nightmare you are looking for. Trust me. I have been there.
There is no reason to dismiss anything I think. You can choose to think otherwise. You don't have to eject personality to accommodate what others think. You control what you think. I can think other things. It does not mean war. You don't need to destroy others that think something else. You also might grow if you assume other viewpoints but that's not step one. Step one is to take others critique in stride. Start by not assuming that it's war with everyone. If it is, they don't deserve your attention, but most people that you interact with will be interesting and interested.
I disagree with that way of thinking, it really isn't sane to me. ADHD isn't "part of who I am", just like my myopia isn't either. It's not part of my personality, it's just a disability I inherited. I can cure my myopia with laser eye surgery and when I get enough money to, I absolutely will and if there's a cure for ADHD, I absolutely will cure it the same way I will my myopia. Disabilities aren't my personality. Curing them won't change who I am as a person (my brother and mother got laser eye surgery for their severe myopia... their personalities didn't change, btw). That way of thinking is so damn reductive to me.
You're welcome to believe what you want to, and I didn't try to convince you that you shouldn't. Personally, I believe I am the sum of both my positive life experiences and successes, as well as the challenges, pain and trauma, for better or worse. Now, if they came up with a cure tomorrow for my connective tissue disorder, would I take it? You're damn right I would. But given the choice of "pressing the button" and being born without it, I absolutely would not, because to do so would mean that I will have never existed. It's the same reason I, as a trans woman, don't wish I was born a cis girl. These things have inextricably made me who I am, I wouldn't just be a "different" person without them, but entirely unrecognisable.
I deeply disagree with you as a transman myself. My core never changed after transition... I was still me regardless of how people saw me before, during and after (took 15 years). I was just getting treatment (a cure of sorts). My medical conditions (or disabilities) don't define my personality or who I am as a person. That's absolute nonsense.
You aren't going to change my mind, and honestly this is becoming insulting, so I'm going to take my leave. I hope you have a good day, evening or night wherever you may be!
I'm not even trying to; I'm just categorically disagreeing with you, which you don't like. Remember, you replied to me to disagree, because you most likely didn't like my position to begin with. I'm clarifying my position and why I don't agree, since you replied to me. But yes, thank you. You too.