this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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If human males did this more often, maybe I would have dated a few more by now !
Hello, man with short hair, black/white t-shirt and jeans #4096. Please, do tell me about how you like food, sports and music. Blend into the background as much as possible, that’s a great dating strategy !
That is camouflage. I use it to avoid being prey for people who hunt for the flashy and extroverted types.
Fair enough ! If you have an interesting personality that works, but it’s always easier to also show it instead of just telling.
I don't exist to impress you
And that’s perfectly fine, but it doesn’t work as a seduction strategy.
The fact it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work in general.
Meh. I'll just fall back in my personality. I'm not really into women who care about aesthetics much anyway.
Everyone cares about aesthetics. “I don’t care about aesthetics” is itself an aesthetic.
Your looks are part of your personality, we’re not talking about how pretty you are here ; we’re talking about what you express with you looks.
And what a white t-shirt and jeans expresses is “I’m boring”, or more charitably “I’m normal”. People looking to date look for someone who stands out to them, without being too weird either.
Boring looks mean "I'm normal", as you said, which is a very comforting thought for many women. Not everyone is into something extravagant. Many people feel like going for the classics is the safer option. Someone can stand out for you without standing out in the crowd.
Aesthetically speaking, not standing out is totally fine. Personality speaking though, you have to be standing out.
What makes you unique? What hobbies do you have? What things are you passionate about?
People who are passionate about things are way more attractive than people who are not.
Give me a date with the person who will talk my ear off about trains, rocks, dinosaurs, etc anyday over the person who has no passions and no hobbies.
Do you have to stand or do you have to be compatible with your partner? I'd say the second option is more important. The standing out thing will be taken care of by the hormones - once the brain is ready, it will view anyone compatible as special. If you feel like men around you are not compatible, perhaps you could try to find a societal bubble with higher concentration of people of your kind.
There are 8 billion people. I'm not unique and that's fine.
That is fine. But it is still stupid to say if you want to get to know somebody.
Why stupid? It sounds thoughtful and realistic, and that impresses me more than being a pick me I'm not like other men.
Decent folks usually back seat aesthetics to personality anyway.
The meme is still funny. I hobby bird watch, and it's very true in the bird world. The male birds are colored brightly if they have good nutrition, they are healthy, so the females mate with them. The female birds are boring so they blend into the environment, so they hide better from prey as they do the egg hatching thing.
I went on a first bar date with a fella once, and I couldn't get it out of my mind he reminded me of a cocky rooster, so boisterous. Too much personality for me, I chose not to go out with him again. A lid for every pot.
People are interesting, "average" is a misleading concept, you can find quirks and intriguing oddities in pretty much anyone. Perhaps you're frequenting the wrong circles in regards to what interests you.
I know that. The problem is that so many men have a “protective layer” you have to pry open to get to know who they really are underneath, and that’s exhausting.
Extroverted showy types are also not showing you who they are underneath.
Ironically, human males do that to impress other males.
Examples:
i just do not wish to be perceived
Well you need to be precieved to meet people.
Who says they want to meet people. Also, not everyone wants to attract attention every day all day long. It's a good strategy for many people to be anonymous most of the time. And those who are into extroverted effect can shine.
Uh they did
that's not fair
Tough shit