this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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I think I have figured out what my relo problem is.
It's the consistency. I think because I might send a message one day and then I get a reply the next day or even the day after sometimes, I just want more.
It's probably a bit much of me to expect that from someone if they're busy and hardly on their phone, but even just a dot or an emoji or something that would take five seconds to send would keep me at bay. I've dealt with inconsistency in a relationship before and it turned out that that person didn't have good intentions. I know rationally with this guy, he's not an absolute prick and wouldn't do that. I know that he does care. Unless I'm lying to myself
I think a simple message each day would just show that he cares and is willing to put in the effort.
Am I asking for too much?
Stop dwelling on it until you speak with them about it. It would be a bigger issue to not be able to communicate this type of thing with a potential partner imo
Not asking for instant but more regular. Replying straight away scares me off too.
Me being ND or my partner? Because I am an ADHDer myself
I think it's one thing not to reply to a text if maybe you lived together or at least saw each other each day. But if you're doing neither of those things, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a romantic partner to text back the same day you sent them one. He may just be a good guy with poor communication skills. Maybe he had a bad relationship were his partner was texting him constantly as a form of controlling behaviour. It could be any number of things. My advice would be to talk to him about it. Be open and tell him about your past experience and how his lack of communication makes you feel. Hopefully that can help you both reach a common ground
the thing is your messaging is kinda random , it means you're waiting and unsure. Maybe have a set time everyday when you check in.
No. It leaves you wondering. Seems like a potential, keep you hanging and wondering routine. Pretty easy to send an I'm thinking of you text.