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Interacting with you makes me sick.

Are you okay? This amount of time and anger spent interacting with someone who "makes you sick" because they dared to post

“Critique to build, not tear down”

Is not normal. Seek help.

My instance is right there in my name as a clue

Nope. My app doesn't show your instance. Is blahaj.zone an instance for women only or something? A clue in your name also means nothing, that would also be "assuming gender". You can declare your pronouns in your name if that is a concern for you. No one is is checking your profile before replying to you, especially if you're being an asshole to them. Did you click my profile before responding to me?

You did something that should make you ashamed.

I should be ashamed of the phrase "Critique to build, not tear down”? Again, you might want to do some self analysis on why that would offend you.

I didn’t call names, I didn’t insult you. I told you that an action you took was socially unacceptable

Hey, same here! I didn't call names, I didn't insult you, I pointed out that your rant about hypocrisy had nothing to do about anything that had been said up to that point. That is civility. Just because I didn’t fellate you doesn’t mean I’ve wronged you.

“I don’t understand why I’m living in your head rent free. This genuinely started as a critique of awful behavior. I’ve no idea why you can’t take even the lightest criticism”

Sure, you can attribute that to me. Remarkable amount of self awareness to say I am living rent free in your head, (again, you might want to look into that).

I am telling off an asshole. I didn’t know that at the time of my first comment, but I certainly do now.

Oh now I am curious. Please quote the exact sentence where you determined I was an asshole. Let's see who was an asshole first. I'll start: It's when you got offended at the statement “Critique to build, not tear down” and went off on a paragraph long rant about it.

You’re not perfect, you deserve criticism

Never claimed otherwise. This goes both ways.

I don’t want you to engage with me. I need you to grow a spine

Wouldn't me not engaging with a bully be spineless? This is as non-nonsensical as claiming someone you're communicating with through text is illiterate. You have a very shallow pool of insults and you are throwing all of them at me trying to make me go away, and it just doesn't seem to be working. That's because I have a policy of "Being an asshole to me doesn't mean I give up. We just stop having the conversation you want".

Trust me, I’m not still talking to you for me

Oh do tell, who are you still talking to me for?
Is it for me? Do you care about me that much? Because I promise you have successfully been enough of an asshole that you will be unable to convince me of anything other than that fact.
Is it for the nobody reading this comment chain? Again, your first reply in this chain was nonsense enough that I promise you nobody is reading any further.
Is it for your therapist? Because you might want to talk to them about this. They'll recommend some better coping mechanisms for you.