this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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Every time I’ve tried to use a bidet, I’ve hated it. The water feels uncomfortable and sudden, and then I feel like I either can’t get dry with toilet paper and get chapped later, or it breaks up from the water and leaves pieces everywhere. The air dry varieties seem to contribute to chapped butt too. I know some people use wash cloths, but frankly the idea of leaving butthole cloth out in the bathroom weirds me out also.
What is the secret to enjoying these things? Am I just too damn American for them?
When I use a bidet at home, I always do a few wipes first to avoid the breakup. Then I pat down with tp after to dry.
I get that some people want to save tp, but I just want to feel clean after I drop a bomb.
Saving TP is a minor benefit. More important is never getting monkey butt, never embarrassed because your significant-other/FWB/date sees skid marks in your underwear, and no irritation from excessive wiping if you have sticky poop.
That's still saving a significant amount of TP even with the double wipe. Before I got a bidet I was wiping upwards of 5-10 times after some shits.
But what about the chapped butt? For real, the three times I’ve gotten to use one for more than a week (fancy ones in hotels), I end up feeling like a baby with diaper rash. I’d use triple the TP gladly just to avoid that feeling. I’m not someone who has that happen to them normally either, so it was definitely the bidets.
It's odd that you're getting that. Are you sure you're actually using a bidet and not your garden hose?
Fancy Japanese bidet at a Hawaii resort, heated seats, temperature control, three speed blow dry, aiming modes—the works. It was horrible.
Tbh I love a bidet because when your poop is not totally solid, no matter how much you wipe with tp your butt never gets fully clean and it feels horrible and it burns. If I don't have a bidet I usually get in the shower to clean. Then just dry with a towel or TP. Ever since I started using it it's difficult to poop in a public place
I know you’re meaning that it’s so good you’ll never go back, but I’m hearing that you’ve handicapped yourself for public restrooms, lol.
You're not wrong lol if I poop in a public restroom and am not able to clean well I feel uncomfortable (burning/itchy/irritated) until I can go home lol
Your body will quickly get used to using a bidet. It's like shaving - the first time you shave your skin is dried out, but your body quickly adapts. If chapping is a problem, a dab of hand lotion or some lip balm solves it.
Dab, don't wipe
Smoked a dab, butt still wet, instructions unclear.
The key is to use a hose and not a fixed one. The fixed ones don't really allow you to clean where you'd like whereas the hose ones let you aim wherever. At least that's how it's been in my experience.
You have to do the bidet dance with a fixed one, works just as well.
But then what is the drying strategy? That is my biggest problem.