Asklemmy

Yeah, that's probably true. I fell pretty hard out of Christianity as a teenager and was extremely not interested in more organized religion. That didn't keep me from being fascinated by the ideas held within various religions, but didn't set foot inside another place of worship for at least a decade after, so all I had was books. Tried meditation and it was one of those 'this is hard so I'm gonna quit' things, unfortunately.

For Hinduism I like polytheism in general, I like the idea that divinity is not a monolith (and not a stern, judging father-figure), and I was pretty into karma and reincarnation for a while. From Gnosticism I really liked the idea that the world is a prison and that the enlightenment everyone is seeking has a practical purpose, to escape it and rejoin the divine. I hated the world and most people in it as a young man, so the idea that it was all bullshit suited me quite well. My current beliefs (which are very syncretic and come from all over the place) are rooted in a similar idea, but these days I think of the world more as an illusion than a prison. Sufism.. man, what's not to like? It's kinda weird, most of Islam doesn't do much for me, but I craved that ecstatic religious joy, that utter dedication and purity of purpose, for a long time, and I have long leaned more into the mystical aspects of religious experience and that's hard to find in organized religion in general and Abrahamic faiths in specific.