this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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By simple, I mean the cliched small talk questions that people on the internet seem to have a lot of contempt for. Had a great conversation with a lady yesterday that stemmed off of asking about the weather. Mentioned my work, she had a son in the same area, I asked her how many kids she had, how she met her husband, etc. Ended up talking about her cousin with a law degree who can’t find work here after immigrating. People have so much contempt for the simple questions, but they’re cliches because they work. You just have to listen and latch on to the things they mention.
Edit: Lets say a simple question is one where 100% of people have an opinion on it, 90% of that opinion is guaranteed to align with yours, and the remaining 10% won’t be a dealbreaker. Weather, families, sports, etc.
"Small talk" questions are, I think, something of a useful communication tool to allow safe engagement or disengagement from either participant. If you had begun by asking about how many children she had, the conversation would have been a lot shorter and come across as creepy.
Oh absolutely. Like, could I do some weirdo cold reading magic based on her wedding ring to ask about her kids? Sure. But it’s much more natural if it comes up organically during conversation.
Okay that sounds like regular small talk, which is fine I guess. Perhaps I'm thrown off with how you worded "eating off the palm of my hand", considering OP was asking about persuasion and manipulation in the thread.
Yeah, was just poking fun at OPs wording of the question. Internet weirdos seem obsessed with manipulating those around them when really all it takes to get people to like you is a modicum of personal hygiene and a friendly demeanor. You ever seen the key & peele skit about the bank job? Basically that.