this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
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This is why I will never drive in the state of Missouri again. Well it was a speeding ticket, but whatever.
I really don't blame you. All cops outside of Metro areas or established cities in Missouri are local bumpkins* tasked with collecting tax revenue from outsiders. This is because all rural areas in the Midwest stagnated economically and socially 50+ years ago.
Metro and City cops are doing the same on a different scale. They tend to be high/drunk/running organized crime. So at least they're bootstrapping and living the American dream of working for themselves.
*Oops
I think you mean "bumpkin" unless you are making a very odd accusation about the sexual proclivities of rural police.
You are correct, I meant bumpkin. I would blame autocorrect or swipe, but here we are.
It was worth the sensible chuckle in my opinion.
I got pulled over in Missouri years ago.
2am, going like 95 on some highway or interstate or other. Hadn’t seen another car in hours, and had been driving since like 5pm.
Get pulled over, cop asks where I’m headed. “Houston.” “Missouri?” “Oh, I didn’t know there was one, neat, no the one in Texas.”
Give my license (Texas) and registration (Wisconsin), and explain I’ve just moved back to my home state, hence the interstate papers, and am headed down with a friend to get my belongings from storage. He goes and runs my info, and it’s clean all the way down, as this is the first time I’d ever been pulled over, or really interacted with cops.
He comes back to the car and as he’s approaching, I can hear an all-hands call on his radio. There’s a heavily intoxicated woman throwing up in a Waffle House parking lot. Cop gets to my door, says “it’s your lucky day, I have to respond to an important incident, so maybe have your passenger drive for a while..”
So just a verbal warning and a mildly entertaining super-rural story. 8/10 would drive again.