this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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In an argument, never use "you". No accusations. Keep a calm, relaxed tone of voice. Even if they don't concede, they will eventually apologize and reconsider their position, but it may take a while after the conversation ended.
~~"I told you you shouldn't have bought that."~~
"I didn't think that purchase was necessary."
~~"You upset me."~~
"I was made to feel upset."
You don't even have to passive voice it - a simple "I felt upset" is fully valid without assigning blame.
Also, at least where I live, it's much more casual and less sterile and stilted than the verbose "I was made to feel upset".