this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I believe that bachelorhood is genuinely the best choice for some people, but most of them don’t realize it, and/or get pushed into marriage by societal expectations. Congratulations on figuring out what’s best for you, and following that path!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Regardless of what is the best path for you, making major life choices because "it is expected" or "it is the default thing to do" is not a good choice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

I think there's a particular brand of person I've seen a few times in real life and in media who gives off strong incel energy despite regularly having sex, and I think many of these people are the same as you describe. I think the toxicity that gives them the incel vibes are a product of "I have been conditioned to chase after sex and to measure my worth in how easily I can acquire sex, and now that I have achieved that, I feel hollow because it doesn't give me fulfillment"

I spoke to a guy friend about this and he said that his own experience of losing his virginity in his mid 20s gave him a sense of discomfort that he later recognised as a sort of gender dysphoria (as a cis man), because suddenly he was "winning" at being a man (according to how society tends to frame it), but he was less happy than before.