AskTransgender

348 readers

4 users here now

A place to ask transgender people questions and get answers about the trans experience.

Rules:

Respect other people's identities
No Fetishizing Trans people
No Gatekeeping about not being "trans enough"
No Inciting Drama
No personal Agendas
Posts should encourage discussion

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

How do I know if I'm possibly trans (lemm.ee)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I used to think I'm a guy, I like many masculine things like motor sports, fixing cars, playing shooters. Things that typically boys like and I have no desire to wear girly clothes or anything like that. But I've always when I was younger liked hanging out with girls more than I liked hanging out with other dudes. Maybe that's not weird but I liked their company more, like how other boys would hang out with the guys, I liked doing that but with girls.

Recently I met someone new, she's a lot like me in her interests and even her style, and I learned she's transfem and that has made me question whether I might be trans myself. I asked her to call me by she/her pronouns for a bit to see how it feels, and I got a rush of happiness when she referred to me with she/her pronouns. So now I'm not sure if I am a guy or not anymore. I don't have any discomfort towards my penis and I do think I'd miss it if it were gone, but lately I have been getting discomfort related to my chest, it feels flat and empty, and wrong. Like it should be bigger than it is. It doesn't seem normal for a guy to feel like that.

I really need help, is it normal for a guy to feel like this or does this mean I might be trans?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Okay, first of all, girls can like stuff like that too, so that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

I know that now, but I didn't always know that and before I used to think it meant that I'm a guy but I'm not so sure now.

Now: how did those questions make you feel? Did you feel guilty? Sad? Annoyed? Angry? Hurt? The intent of those questions was to see what your reaction would be to being doubted or questioned. Whatever you just felt, why did you feel it? Try to trace it back to its source.

Guilty, maybe a little bit confused. I feel guilty because I've been told that boys can't want to be girls and part of me does indeed want to be a girl. I've always felt something was off, it started back when I was younger and would prefer to hang out with girls more than boys. People said it was weird and that I was weird for it but I still kept doing it because I felt like I related more with the girls than the boys. When I was younger I did want to get earrings, and while I know that boys would sometimes get one earring I didn't like that idea. I wanted both ears pierced, but was told only girls do that, so I never did it, I felt sad that I couldn't do it. The last question made me feel a bit scared and uncomfortable, I think I do want to be a woman but I don't want to lose my penis, that would make me sad.

Oh, and it’s totally possible to have a girlcock (sorry for being an asshole earlier, I hope you understand what I was trying to do). Plenty of trans gals choose to keep theirs.

Really? That's awesome I used to think that getting surgery or wanting it was required to be a trans woman. Thant changes everything. I see what you were trying to do, and thank you. I think it helped a lot.

Finally, see if you vibe with this: genderdysphoria.fyi/

I had a look through that and yeah I think I'm definitely trans. For more reasons than just the ones I talked about here. Thank you so much for helping me out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Welcome to the family, sweetie. Unfortunately I can't give you a whole lot more help atm, I'm unfortunately not in a place where I can actually transition myself. However, I wish you luck on your journey <3

Edit: oh yeah, btw, having a penis on estrogen is a use-it-or-lose-it kinda thing. You'll wanna make sure you're regularly stimulating it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm still happy and grateful you were able to help me this far. I probably never would've figured it out if it weren't for you and the nice people here, thank you.

Edit: oh yeah, btw, having a penis on estrogen is a use-it-or-lose-it kinda thing. You’ll wanna make sure you’re regularly stimulating it.

Oh, I wasn't aware of that, good to know though. I don't think that'll be an issue since it does regularly see use 😅 and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hah, well, I'd still suggest making sure you're talking to a therapist. They'll be able to help you through the process, help you make sure it's really what you want, things like that. It sounds like it clicked for you though, and that's a good sign.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Yeah I'm going to try to find a therapist ASAP, then I'll be able to talk to them but also hopefully be able to get on Estrogen soon.