this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2024
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Reminder to anyone who still smokes: you smell like shit 100% to anyone you interact with.
And any place you still smoke in, whether your car or home, also smells like shit.
And to delivery drivers who smoke, the packages you deliver smell like shit, too!
Positive reinforcement works better for helping people quit :(
Especially when quitting smoking tanks a person's dopamine levels. It takes weeks for the body to re-regulate production.
To anyone reading this who has quit/is quitting: congratulations! It's tough, you have shown a force of willpower and should be proud of yourself.
Love, a fellow Canadian.
Edit:
Source: took some psych courses
&
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/longing-nostalgia/201705/why-shaming-doesnt-work
Positive reinforcement is the act of adding either a reward for good behavour or a punishment for bad behavior.
It seems like both of you are doing that.
That's not quite what positive reinforcement is but im not sciency enough to understand it either lol
I'll paste Wikipedias explanation:
(These paragraphs are one after the other but I can't figure out proper formatting)
If you mean formatting as one quote, you are missing the
>
on the empty line.Will show as:
Interesting. I've never made that distinction between reinforcement and punishment.
Positive punishment is different from positive reinforcement. Shame is a punishment
Adding a shame or punishment is “positive” in the sense of the words positive and negative reinforcement.
Positive is adding to as a response:
Negative is removing from as a response
Punishment for bad behaviour is negative reinforcement.
In a non-technical sense, yes.
In a clinical/technical/literal/how words work sense, no.
Just looked into this, and yeah, you're right. TIL. It's pretty counterintuitive imo and I don't think being told it's wrong from a "how words work sense" is helping anyone, but you are correct and I was incorrect.
negative reinforcement is what punishment for undesired behavior is called.
positive reinforcement is rewarding when the desired behavior is exhibited.
edit: negative reinforcement requires forever conditioning and develops sick and twisted conditioners eventually. positive reinforcement takes longer to work but it doesn't require forever conditioning. And rarely causes revolutionary acts.
Negative reinforcement is removing a thing when a behavior is exhibited.
Negative reinforcement is punishing for doing it rewarding for not doing
Positive reinforcement is rewarding for doing or punishing for not doing
I don't think the person who started this was talking precisely though as positive reinforcement isn't at all effective in getting someone to stop doing something
I'm not trying to convince someone to quit; that's up to them to derive enough motivation to do so on their own.
I'm just pointing out that their disgusting habit affects everyone around them, if it's not killing them through second-hand smoke.
I say this as someone who used to smoke 1–2 packs a day, and WISH that someone told me that I smelled as bad as I did. To me, smoking was never about impacting other people, so having known that, I would have at least been more mindful.
Positive reinforcement tends to work best, but people should never underestimate the power of "you smell like an old leather ashtray"
I know intellectually that's true but in my cursed heart I really don't want to be nice to people who are, like, barely approaching a reasonable standard of behavior. Not just with smoking. Like, littering, taking up too much space on the subway, whatever.
It's just frustrating how everyone (including me some of the time, I'm sure) is just like an emotionally fragile toddler. Except if you're not nice to them, they might shoot you.
edit: Thinking about it, my parents were always like "You don't get rewarded for doing what's expected of you", so that's probably why rewarding someone for doing the basics feels insane to me.
My parents said the same thing over 15 years ago, but this kind of shit just isn't true. When you own your home or business, doing what's expected of you results in your investments retaining or even increasing their value. That's why the owner works 12 hours a day, and the homeowner fixes the broken windows.
When you're just living or working somewhere but you don't have a stake in it, what do you actually get out of your efforts? Communities of all types, big and small, are held together by the stake we have in them. If people have no stake, they have no reason to care. This is why you pay employees, and this is why parents should thank their kids for doing the damn chores.
Problem is so many people believe that you don't deserve thanks for "doing what's expected" while also refusing to allow young people the opportunity to become invested in their communities. This is why the social contract is destroyed and no one cares anymore. Why should they? The youth will never get to be part of their community the way we are. They will never benefit from it the way we do... Unless things change.
I guess what I took away from my upbringing is the rewards are intrinsic. You don't get a cookie for cleaning your room, but now your room is clean. You don't get $20 for passing your math test, but now you (hopefully) learned some math and don't have to worry about it anymore.
The owner in your example is the same. His rewards are inherent to the action.
Covering someone with praise and rewards when they do stuff they're supposed to do anyway I guess works, but seems unsustainable. If they're only doing it for external validation, how are they going to feel when that's absent?
Saying "thank you" for doing chores isn't what I had in mind. It was an overly effusive "omg you did so good I'm so happy here's a pony you didn't throw your cigarettes on the ground! You're such a good boy and very handsome!"
It's so nasty when you get delivery and the food reeks of cigarettes.
One time it smelled of coppertone sunscreen which was wild and also off putting but in very different ways.
I got a coffee from Dunkin Donuts once that had been prepared by someone who had some kind of topical menthol cream all over their hands. That was the second most disgusting thing I've put in my mouth.
Risotto with maggots in it.
Yeah, I don't tell that story very often.
I was born with a deviated septum, so I can't smell much of anything, but cigarette is one thing I can smell... And I can confirm everything in your post.
My dad used to smoke. A lot. I once had to borrow his car for a week or so and couldn't even drive it without flooding it with febreze and opening all the windows.
I used to have a co-worker who smoked so much that I (and others with more sensitive schnozzes) could tell if he'd been in a room in the past hour or more.
Even if you don't care about your own health, you shouldn't smoke for the sake of those around you.
Even more pleasant was being driven around in a car with dad smoking in the front seat while you're behind him. Getting all that wind, smoke and ash in your face. Mmm. Or if it's too cold he doesn't wanna open the window really and basically just hotboxes me and my two brothers with nicotine. (This was 25+ years ago)
My eldest brother had asthma, so my parents were generally careful not to smoke around us. They had a dedicated room in the house for smoking so that the rest of the house would get less contaminated. Fortunately, this meant that they didn't generally smoke in the car while driving us around. Also, my dad worked and/or commuted thirteen hours a day so I was mostly around my mom, who smoked a lot less.
The car borrowing I mentioned was years after my brother had moved across the country when my dad drove his car almost exclusively alone, so at least no one else (who wasn't borrowing the car) was engulfed.
I'm sorry you had to suffer through that.
Hey, if you smoke in you car, involuntary discount is applied on the price of your car in case you ever wanted to sell it! Because nobody wants to buy your stinkermobile.
It fucking sucks to get rid of the smell. It's possible, but it's not sweet.
I agree but it is kinda nice being able to smell how stressed my boss is