this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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This needs to be said more often. (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 14 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Defending it under ableism kinda feels like calling the word "abuser" abelist

Drag is willing to accept that premise only after psychologists put "abuser disorder" in the DSM. They can probably put it right next to "crime disorder" and "being a bad person disorder" within the "things that are behaviours and not mental health conditions" section. Until that section gets made, everything in the DSM is a mental health condition and NOT an action.

Honesty I think you'd be better off pointing out how these people aren't mentally ill and are fully culpable for what they do, instead of labeling it all abelist.

Por que no los dos?

Trump is a criminal because he's chosen to do criminal things. Musk is an abuser because he's chosen to do abusive things. ASPD and NPD aren't choices and they aren't actions. Mixing up criminal and abusive behaviour with mental health conditions is ableist. It's the ableism that happens when you hear about a bad thing and assume a minority did it. "Someone robbed the convenience store? Must have been a black." "A famous musician molested a child? I always knew he was gay." "A politician bribed a pornstar with campaign funds to hide his relationship with her? He must have a mental illness." It's wrong.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 17 minutes ago (1 children)

Taking words away from people that they use to describe their abusers (narcissist, psychopath) is going to hurt people who don't deserve it (schizophrenia, etc) when you lump it all together as abelism. That's my point.

In my opinion, they did put abuser disorder in the DSM. Here's the diagnosis criterion for NPD (need 5/9, must be maladaptive) Notice how its just the description of an emotionally abusive person, when you need 5 and its gotta be bad enough to affect your life?

A grandiose sense of self-importance (exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Believing that they are "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Requiring excessive admiration

A sense of entitlement (unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations)

Being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends)

Lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)

Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them

Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

This is from Wikipedia, btw, I dont own the manual and cant find it online. DSM is just a guide to help psychiatrists give treatment to people who need help, not a list of descriptors you can no longer use.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 minutes ago

Notice how its just the description of an emotionally abusive person, when you need 5 and its gotta be bad enough to affect your life?

Is it really? Let's do some math.

A grandiose sense of self-importance (exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

The way other people feel about themselves isn't an attack on you. You don't have the right to police other people's level of self esteem. Abusive traits so far: 0/1

Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

The way other people feel about themselves isn't an attack on you. You don't have the right to police other people's level of self esteem. Abusive traits so far: 0/2

Believing that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

The way other people feel about themselves isn't an attack on you. You don't have the right to police other people's level of self esteem. Abusive traits so far: 0/3

Requiring excessive admiration

Other people having needs isn't an attack on you. You don't have the right to police other people's needs. You can say no, you can say you don't personally want to be asked or expected to do it, you can't get mad at people for wanting something. Abusive traits so far: 0/4

A sense of entitlement (unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations)

This is called being a Karen, not being an abuser. Abusive traits so far: 0/5

Being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends)

This one is abusive. Abusive traits so far: 1/6

Lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)

Other people not having the feelings you want them to have isn't an attack on you. You don't have the right to police other people's feelings. Abusive traits so far: 1/7

Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them

Other people having bad feelings isn't an attack on you. You don't have the right to police other people's feelings. Abusive traits so far: 1/8

Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

The way other people feel about themselves isn't an attack on you. You don't have the right to police other people's level of self esteem. Abusive traits so far: 1/9

Okay, we did the math and found that only one out of nine traits is abusive, and given five are required for a diagnosis, it's reasonable to assume most people with NPD don't have any symptoms that make them abusers. On the other hand, most of the traits you called abusive were just other people's feelings you don't like. So it sounds like you're just interested in being the thought police and acting like the contents of other people's heads is an attack on you. Which, you know, is a method abusers use to control their victims. Drag doesn't like you.